


Spark and Embrace

by ThatLowkeyHipster



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst and Drama, Beta Read, Drinking, Established Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei, Established Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Everyone Is Gay, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, HanaMakki is a side pair, Insecure Akaashi Keiji, Light Angst, M/M, Oikawa is trash, Questioning, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Smut, Strangers to Lovers, Trans Character, Trans Tsukishima Kei, UshiYama is my favorite rarepair, Ushiyama, WILL ADD MORE TAGS AS I UPDATE, Yamaguchi Tadashi is a Good Friend, volleyball mentions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-28
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2020-10-29 22:47:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 29,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20804228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatLowkeyHipster/pseuds/ThatLowkeyHipster
Summary: I didn't write a summary for this. Basically, Tsukishima is trans and starts to develop feelings for Kuroo who has shown express interest in him. Kuroo is an understanding person but Tsukishima isn't quite sure. UshiYama is my favorite rarepair so this will also be their story.Tsukishima also has a secret that he hasn't told anyone, it makes me wonder what will happen once they start dating?





	1. Interesting Concept But Poor Execution

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dakato](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dakato/gifts).

> I want to thank [Dakato](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dakato) for basically reading and re-reading this story over and over again to tell me what sucks and what needs work. I've been writing this story almost non-stop since I started because I fall in love with it the more I write.

Tsukishima lifted his shirt about halfway up his abdomen to get a good glimpse of his waist. He lifted his injector to his side and pushed down quickly getting the shot over with before letting his anxiety get to him. It wasn’t that he was afraid of needles, but the idea of them was not very desirable in Tsukki’s eyes. Thank god for anesthesia, being conscious during surgery would be utterly terrifying.

Yamaguchi has always accepted Tsukishima’s identity but sometimes when Tsukki brought up the potential of dating, Tadashi always found a way to bring it into the conversation.

[Tsukki: I’ve been on testosterone for like 3 or 4 months now.]

[Tadashi: Yes, I know this, I went to your first appointment! That’s my job as your best friend.]

[Tsukki: Okay? Then why are you denying it? You’re not one of those assholes that think I have to get the surgery to be trans, do you? I thought you were better than that.] 

[Tadashi: I’m offended you even thought of that! I’ve supported you this entire time! I’m just saying maybe it’s a little too soon for you to be thinking that the man you find,,,, will be as accepting.]

[Tsukki: Not like I’m going to find love anyway. Dating as a female was hard enough, imagine being a gay guy.]

[Tadashi: HELLO!!! Talking to cis-gendered homosexual!!! Besides, I only have my heart set out on one man.]

[Tsukki: Ushijima Wakatoshi? Japan’s ace from the national volleyball team? Oh yeah, good luck with that.] 

Tsukishima couldn’t help but roll his eyes as he sent that message out. 

[Tadashi: You never know he might have a thing for twinks… ;)]

Tsukishima stared at the message in disgust, but there was a hint of a smile on his face. His best friend really was the best, and essentially the only person he could trust. 

[Tadashi: How’s your chest today? Still sore? ]

Tsukishima subconsciously touched the place where he had gotten his surgery. There were two options he was allowed to go through with. They could either make two incisions below both of his breast muscles to remove the fat, or make one long incision below his chest and take it all out. Tsukishima chose the later. He threw his shirt off and onto the bed, and removed the large gauze wrap that covered his surgery scar. 

[Tsukki: No, it doesn’t really hurt anymore, and it’s looking a little better.]

[Tadashi: Well the doctor said the scar is permanent but as you get older it should turn skin color, so it shouldn’t bother you as much. Are you considering the bottom surgery…?]

[Tsukki: The doctor said it’s a risky procedure. I’m not sure if I'm comfortable, besides I’m so used to having a...vagina, that I wouldn’t know what to do.]

[Tadashi: DID YOU JUST HAVE TROUBLE TYPING VAGINA??]  
[Tadashi: WHAT ARE YOU 5 OMG TSUKKI]  
[Tadashi: Well, a dick isn’t all bad, unless you get hard randomly in public.]

[Tsukki: You’re quite crude sometimes.]

[Tadashi: What?!??!?! I’m being honest!!]

[Tsukki: So am I.]

[Tadashi: I thought you loved me!!!]

[Tsukki: Same.]

[Tadashi: Tsukkkki!!!!!]

[Tadashi: Hey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be insensitive. I hope I didn’t make you feel invalidated. You had the top surgery, and you’re in recovery, and you’ve been taking your shots for months. And ever since you cut your hair, you’ve totally got the whole boy look going for you. And you are tall!!! So it’s like you were born for this!!!]

[Tsukki: That’s how I feel.]

He smiled, he finally felt right. After years of truly not identifying as a girl, it finally felt right to be able to call himself who he truly is.  
It never felt good, wearing girls' clothing, using feminine pronouns. When it came to products he didn’t care much, hygiene is important is doesn’t matter if the product you’re using is feminine or masculine you’re allowed to use what you want, on your own body.

It was basically torture during middle school and high school, going to volleyball tournaments and getting nasty looks from guys, who wanted him because he was an attractive girl. The thought made Tsukishima laugh, but it was humorless. 

[Tadashi: I know!!! Let’s go shopping later when I get out of classes!! We can go pick out a bunch of guy clothes!!!]

[Tsukki: Interesting concept but poor execution.]

[Tadashi: Is that a yes?]

[Tsukki: Yes.]

-oOo-

Yamaguchi and Tsukishima met up by the front gate of Yamaguchi’s campus. Which was the same as Tsukki...and Ushijima.

“Sorry, I’m late, I snuck into the gym to peek at Ushijima-san’s practice.” Yamaguchi huffed as he rushed towards his best friend.

“Your obsession is gonna get you caught,” Tsukishima said as he adjusted his headphones onto his shoulders.

“Well then, he might fall in love with me.”

“Until he sees your collection.”

“Shhhh, not in public!” Yamaguchi loud-whispered and pulled Tsukishima from the front gate. 

Once the boys were away from the school, Yamaguchi quickly made an attempt to change the subject.

“How’s work going, is it treating you well?”

“Yeah, actually work is amazing, it’s really slow-paced and the atmosphere is so comfortable. The people that come in...are really interesting.”  
“Interesting, how?” Tadashi’s curiosity gets the best of him because Tsukishima has never been the type to think people are interesting. Complex and annoying? Yes. Interesting? No.

“There are these group of guys that come in every now and then, one of them will come up to the counter and ask me questions about music for maybe 30 minutes. Sometimes, he’ll pull old albums off the shelf, ones where you can barely read the cover. Since I know most of the music in the store because I organized the shelves. Without looking I’ll tell him who sang it and when it was released. His eyes get really wide in surprise and he calls me a “musical genius.” Sometimes, the friends he’ll come in with will leave, and he’ll stay and talk to me, and then dash off with an apology after looking at the time.” Tsukishima spoke while searching through the music on his phone.

“Yeah, you’re right that’s really fucking interesting. Maybe he has a crush on youuuu~” 

“He doesn’t know me.” Tsukishima scoffed.

“It sounds like he’s getting to know you.”

“Tadashi?”

“Yes?”

“Shut up.”

Yamaguchi burst with laughter.

-oOo-

Finally making it to the strip mall, Tsukishima looks around aimlessly as Yamaguchi gushes about the clothes stores around them. Tsukishima doesn’t bother trying to be interested. Yamaguchi’s style and his are a lot different so it’s difficult sometimes for them to shop together. Tsukishima finally settles on a store and is wandering around for a while until a shop attendant stops him.

“Can I help you with anything?” The woman smiles at Tsukki but it’s such a customer service smile, that Tsukki doesn’t return it.

“Do you have any urban wear, something like faded jeans and dark tops?” Tsukishima asks his expression blank.

The lady continues smiling “right this way,” she motions in the direction towards the back of the store. At this point, Tsukishima has no idea where Tadashi is, but they can contact one another if they get lost.

-

Tsukishima is looking at their vast selection of faded jeans, from blue to black. He finds as many pairs in his size as he can, along with a few tops that he thinks would work well together. As he is changing into his new outfits he feels a familiar voice calling out to him. It’s Yamaguchi. Tsukishima zips up his jeans and pushes the changing room door open to find Tadashi.

“Wow you look amazing,” Yamaguchi practically shouts.

“Thanks.” Tsukishima basically blushes as he walks back into the dressing room to try on another outfit. He walks out this time a little more confidence and Yamaguchi compliments him again.  
“You really know your own style, don’t you. As a homosexual man, may I say your ass looks great in those pants?”

He mumbled a word of thanks, but his expression was a deadpan in the direction of the front store window. Where he saw the character with the unruly jet black hair. He ducks near Yamaguchi who's throwing out phrases around “what's wrong” and “What's going on?” Tsukishima pulls them both into the changing room to hide.

“It’s the guy from the music store, he’s outside.”

“Okay, why are we hiding? He’s just a person.”

Tsukishima thinks about this for a moment and wonders the same thing. He pushes Yamaguchi out of the changing room and puts his normal clothes back on. He gathers the outfits he picked out. Deciding that since 2 of them fit, the rest would too. Before completely exiting the room, he looked around first to make sure he couldn’t spot the man, with a bird on his head. 

Tsukishima made a move out of the room and walked quickly to the register to complete his transaction. Yamaguchi was stumbling behind him, with a brand new pair of sunglasses over his unruly brown hair. 

The walk out of the store, Tsukishima double-checked again before walking out fully, the raven-haired male was walking away from them swiftly, so Kei opted to walk in the opposite direction. Yamaguchi didn’t say anything until a growl was heard from his stomach. 

“Food?”

-oOo-

They sat down at a nice cozy restaurant and before they could even order drinks Yamaguchi was already curious. 

“What was that?”

Tsukishima sighed and looked towards the register in the distance. 

“I may have left out a small detail about that guy’s visit.”

“Okay???”

“He asked me on a date.” Tsukishima avoided eye contact with Tadashi.

Yamaguchi's eyes turned as wide like saucers but before he could say anything he was silenced by a waitress taking their drink order.

Once the lady was gone Yamaguchi shot Tsukki a glance, and Tsukishima made no expression. Kei knew what Tadashi wanted to hear.

“I said no.”

“Why?”

“Because he doesn’t know me.”

“Interesting concept but poor execution,” Tadashi said with a deadpan. Tsukishima glared at him.


	2. I’m Trying But They’re Hot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I haven't written a single summary for any of these chapters, but honestly, the chapter titles basically explain the concept of each chapter. 
> 
> Basically the raven-haired male is a little too hot for Tsukishima to think straight and he finds himself confessing certain things to him because he could be a potential boyfriend??? Tsukishima decides to be honest with Kuroo and Kuroo is pretty understanding.
> 
> This chapter is heavily Yamaguchi-centric for a bit, and the way I write is even though one person is centered the other characters' points of view are slipped into the story as well. Hopefully, it not too confusing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to Dakato because she fucking rocks and has been beta reading all of my chapters once they are near completion. Like fuck, this girl is saving my life and makes me feel like I could write a novel. Honestly check out all her stories.

The blonde tossed and turned in his bed for what seemed like an hour before actually getting up. He looked over at the time but it was blurry so he reached over his nightstand to grab his glasses. He was hoping he was late for class it would give him an excuse not to hurry, but in reality, he woke up way before school even started.

Tsukishima grumbled and turned over in his bed wanting to go back to sleep, he felt as if the tiredness in his eyes would carry his consciousness into the dark and he could drift away, but his glasses were stabbing into his head uncomfortably. The male threw the duvet from over his body and got out of bed. 

He made his way into the main room, he searched in the refrigerator for a moment seriously contemplating whether or not he should make something or not. Before he decided, he was already plugging in his rice cooker.

He was a fan of western culture, mainly the decor, food, and clothing. So this morning he decided to prepared fried eggs which are uncommon in Japanese houses but Tsukishima lived alone so it didn’t really matter. He decided he needed some kind of protein other than eggs, something like meat but he didn’t have anything in the house like that, so he switched it out for fruits. Which Tsukki had a lot of.

He was a huge fan of fruits mainly strawberries ever since he was a child. So when he waited for the rice to be done, he cut up some strawberries and set them aside on a small dish.

Tsukishima didn’t mind being alone, but for some reason eating alone this morning was surprisingly boring.

-oOo-

Tsukishima had finished showering and moved on to do, his completely necessary hygiene and care routine.

When he made his way back into the room, he looked around for his phone, which laid on his desk on the charger. He pulled it off with a message from Tadashi. He was kinda surprised he was awake right now considering he usually overslept.

[Tadashi: I’m gonna try and talk to him today.]

[Tadashi: I’ve been thinking about him all night long.]

[Tadashi: I haven’t slept- and not even all of the thoughts were sexual. Some of them were just like “What do his hand feel like? What is his favorite food? Does he like to watch the sunset?” Really sappy nasty cheesy shit that would probably make you gag!]

[Tadashi: But I need to tell someone, so I'm going to talk to him today.]

Tsukishima had a hint of a smile he thought his best friend was braver than him. He felt a weird sense of pride like he raised Yamaguchi, and in a sense he did. Tsukishima and Yamaguchi had been friends since grade school, the details of their meeting is a little blurry in his mind, but Tadashi had just been by his side forever, it felt like.

[Tsukki: Good luck.]

-oOo-

Tsukishima was dreading the day as the cab pulled up to the school. He didn’t take a cab usually, but he didn’t feel like walking. 

As he stepped up to the front gate, hearing the exasperated sighs as teenage girls talking about their dates and their boyfriends he wanted to gag. He also had to work after classes, and he wasn’t looking forward to that either. 

The tanned figure with the jet black hair and the charming smile flashed into his mind. 

And Tsukishima thought maybe he was actually looking forward to work.

-

He walked into his mathematics class-which by the way he hated-who wanted to spend all day long talking about “what if’s?” and “solve for x?” Although Tsukki excelled at the subject it didn’t mean he had to like it.

-oOo-

By lunchtime, Yamaguchi was basically an animal, he’s so happy that he saved up all his lunch vouchers because now he could basically get whatever he wanted. He wandered into the spacious campus lunchroom, corner to corner with large windows that showed off the beauty of the campus. Yamaguchi wandered around for a bit until he went over to the kiosks to see his options. He looked through the screen drooling over all of the items until the air suddenly changed around him.

“Excuse me.” A deep voice broke the food coma that Tadashi was slipping into. 

Yamaguchi froze, because there was no way, in any dimension or any universe that he would NOT recognize that voice.

He turned around oh so slowly, and when he looked straight he was met with a light purple sweater, and then he moved his eyes upward to make direct eye contact with none other than Ushijima Wakatoshi. 

“C-can I help you?” Yamaguchi croaked out, basically trembling under his gaze, but vibrating with excitement on the inside.

“I hope so, I need to understand how to work that machine.” The brunette pointed towards a vending machine in the corner of the cafeteria and Yamaguchi stared at the machine. 

“Really?” He kinda wanted the laugh, but he looked back up at Ushijima there wasn’t a drop of humor in his expression. “Sure I can help you.” Yamaguchi started to walk over to the machine, and Ushijima followed in suit.

At this point, Yamaguchi was basically in panic, he thought he was close to a panic attack but he was a little more comfortable than uncomfortable, besides he was successfully talking to his man-crush without basically confessing like a school-girl.

Once they made it to the machine, Yamaguchi waited for Ushijima to say something. 

Little did he know Ushijima was doing the same. 

“Right...so what do you want from the machine?” Yamaguchi said with the sweetest voice he could muster.

“I would like 2 black coffee and one orange soda.”

“Interesting combination.”

“They’re not all for me.” Yamaguchi was going to laugh because it was almost like Ushijima was embarrassed by his joke, but he decided against it.

“Okay so you’re going to want to insert money into the machine, coins or dollars are accepted. The labels tell you what each one costs, so you can determine how much you need to put in. Once you put them in, you press the buttons you want, and they should come rolling out. I recommend you do one at a time.” Yamaguchi attempted to be as thorough as possible in his explanation. But Ushijima seemed to understand anyway as he started putting in the money and collecting drinks.

“Thank you,” Ushijima said holding the drinks to his chest with one hand.

“No problem! Can I get you anything to eat?” Wait a fucking minute how did Yamaguchi slip that in without panicking, wait a fucking minute he is panicking, and what he meant to say was- “I meant-uh-can I help you with anything el-?”

“That won't be necessary thank y-”

It is almost as if Thor himself crashed down into the center of the lunchroom, with such a deep rumbling that even Yamaguchi was shook to the core. When Yamaguchi looked up to ask Ushijima if he felt that there was a hint- a single minuscule blush that crept on his cheeks, and Yamaguchi realized it was just Ushijima’s stomach.

Yamaguchi smiled, and Ushijima looked as he was going to say something. The male had never really been in a situation like this with a stranger, and he had completely forgotten that he didn’t eat this morning. If it was with his friends and his teammates it was different, he didn’t know how to explain it to this boy.

“Come on, I’ll get you something.” Yamaguchi reached for his free hand and whisked back over to the kiosk. 

“Are you more of a balanced guy or a protein nut?”

Ushijima seemed to seriously ponder over the question. “Depends.”

“On?” Yamaguchi asked curiously.

“The season,” It was evident that the taller male wasn’t going to give anything else away.

“I’ll order it all, and we can share it! That way whatever you don’t have I can eat, and vice versa.” Yamaguchi smiled, and something in Ushijima’s eyes changed, it was almost like amusement.

“That’s quite a bit of money.” The tone sounded almost teasing to Yamaguchi.

Yamaguchi made a smug face and said. “I got it.”

He pressed on the images for the meals and scanned his vouchers accordingly and slipped the extra back in his pocket.

“Shall we find a place to sit?” Yamaguchi asked.

“Mn.” He nodded. 

-

It was a few moments before Yamaguchi’s name was called by the lunch ladies. He was about to get up to retrieve his food before Ushijima held a hand out and got up instead.

They hadn’t talked much, they sat in silence, and a few times Tadashi pulled out his phone to update Tsukki, but he knew he wasn’t going to respond considering their schedules were different. Ushijima was walking back to the table, somehow he was holding 3 trays and a bucket of ice with him.

He laid the trays down one right after each and pulled eating utensils out of his jacket pocket. He looked over at the ice bucket and pointed when Ushijima finally looked at him handing him a pair of chopsticks.  
“The person that likes the soda, likes it cold.”

Then it hit him. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry I didn’t even realize that you were probably fetching drinks for your friends, and now I ordered all this food, and you probably have to get back to them and I’m wasting your time, and I’m a complete stranger-”

“It's fine.” Was all he said when he reached over to the meat plate with a pair of chopsticks. 

“O-okay.” Yamaguchi didn’t argue. The way the male said his statement was very definite almost alpha-like and Yamaguchi was thrown into a submissive state, where he couldn’t argue.

It was quiet for a while, Yamaguchi assumed Ushijima wasn’t one for small talk, but Yamaguchi was dying from the silence.

“Major?” he asked.

“Scholarship.” Ushijima hummed.

“Volleyball?” Yamaguchi smiled a little.

“Yes.” Ushijima looked at him for a moment, he looked almost confused but decided not to ask. “Do you play?” Ushijima said, initiating the conversation.

“Used to in high school.”

“Position?” Ushijima asked more curiously.

“Middle blocker ...pinch server?”

“Specialty?”

Why the heck was he asking so many questions right now? And why the heck am I answering so quickly, and why is he staring at me with that intense gaze?

“F-float serve,” Yamaguchi confessed, it’s been a while since he’s played but he’s basically-nearly-almost-perfected it sense then.

“I remember you. Karasuno High.” Ushijima had completely stopped eating at this point, and he stared intently at Yamaguchi as he flushed.

“Really? That’s surprising, anything specific?”

“You had amazing potential,” Ushijima said.

Yamaguchi’s entire body turned red, and he turned his gaze away from Ushijima who stared for a moment and continued eating.

“Thank you,” Yamaguchi mumbled remembering his manners.

“We should play sometime, see if I’m right,” Ushijima suggested which threw Yamaguchi for a complete loop. It was at this very moment that he wanted to confess to him, how he was absolutely his number one fan, and he’s loved him and fantasized about him for years. 

Of course, he said absolutely none of that and spoke through quivering lips. “I’d like that.”

-oOo-

“FINALLY!” 

Is what Tsukishima Kei would have shouted at the sky if he was a normal person that was stuck in classes all day. However, since he doesn’t focus on pointless human emotions often he sighed with relief and pulled out his phone to check what all the vibrations he received earlier were about.

[Tadashi: I RAN INTO USHIJIMA AT THE LUNCHROOM  
hE DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO WORK THE VENDING mACHINE SO I HELPED HIM  
aND tHEN I ACCIDENTALLY ASKED HIM TO eAT WITH ME, AND NOW WHERE SITTING DOWN EATING TOGETHER.]  
[Tadashi: He’s really quiet and stoic, but it’s not as intimidating as others would assume, it's kinda comforting...he’s not one for small talk and he doesn’t hover or dwell on things.]  
[Tadashi: I still like him.]

Tsukishima was used to Yamaguchi gushing about his crush, but this was the first time that the messages seemed to be so calming and light-hearted. Tsukishima hasn’t seem much of Ushijima only a few times during high school volleyball matches, his talent is impressive but he doesn’t have any other experiences with him. Or what he’s like in casual settings, but Yamaguchi would be safe with him.

Tsukishima walked all the way to work, he had the time since the professor ended class early for a change. After taking a cab this morning he didn’t want to risk spending any pointless money.

-

Tsukishima walked into the store and his co-worker moved to clock out since he gets to get off when Tsukki comes in.  
“Good work today,” Tsukishima mumbled as he walked out.  
The quiet raven-haired male nodded towards him and said “Same to you.” The bell of the front door stopped chiming once it was closed. Tsukishima started work like normal, clocked in, checked his register and began shelving. 

“Tsukki!” A low voice was heard and the raven-haired male looked around was excited when he noticed that there was no one else in the store.

Tsukishima tensed at the nickname, the one he was only really comfortable with Yamaguchi calling him. 

Tsukishima turned around and bowed, “Kuroo-san, please call me Tsukishima.”

“Awe Tsukki why were friends aren’t we?” He cooed as he approached the other.

“You don’t know me.”

“I know a few things, you like music, you work here, your name is Tsukishima, and you dislike pine,” Kuroo said with complete confidence.

“What? How could you possibly know that?” Tsukishima asked as he glared.

“You guys have a regular cleaning guy right? To do like thorough cleans? Well the day after the guys were scheduled to come in, I was here looking for a CD a friend asked me about. When you walked in the entire store smelled like pine cleaner, and you had the ugliest facial expression. You walked around the counter and pulled a mask over your face. And when I asked if you were feeling sick, you said no. So I just guessed you didn’t like it.”

“It’s more of an allergy,” he whispered unknowingly and Kuroo smiled.

“Noted.” 

Tsukishima glanced up at him, and when he looked at Kuroo the male’s eyes wouldn’t leave his face. Tsukishima blushed and walked away. Kuroo followed.

“Kuroo-san, I have to work.” He said reaching over to pull a cart of CDs toward him.

“Have you considered my offer?” 

Tsukishima felt his ears turn red. “I said no.”

“No I know, but have you thought about it and considered it?”

“You don’t know me. You might not like me when you do.” Tsukishima sent him a glare and moved the cart to the next section.

“Can you at least let me decide that for myself?”

Tsukishima felt as if he was going to cry-or scream he couldn’t decide.

“I-I’m a guy-so that means if you're interested in me-then that would make you gay,” Tsukishima said with a snide expression.

“I’ve already come out to my family and friends, my mom was a little disappointed with the whole “you won’t give me grandkids” bit, but they accepted it. And my dad just kinda scoffed, I think he thinks it’s a phase. My friends, we're perfectly fine with I think some of them are pretty gay themselves.”

Tsukishima wasn’t expecting the entire admittance about his home life. He didn’t know this guy or owed him anything. His world seemed to be crashing down little by little. He felt like he needed to tell him beforehand. But why? Was he considering dating him? Was this something Tsukishima was considering. Kuroo was looking at him intently, and he didn’t know what to say or do. 

“Please excuse me for a moment, I will be right back.”

Tsukishima bowed out of customer service habit, he practically ran to the back and phoned Yamaguchi.

“Tsukki? Are you okay, is something wrong?”  
The concerned voice of a friend, that was comforting to Tsukishima.

“Kuroo-san is in the store right, and he just confessed to me that he was gay, and he asked me out again, should I tell him about me?”

“WAIT A MINUTE IS KUROO-SAN THE GUY THAT ASKED YOU OUT?”

“Yeah, didn’t tell you his name?”

“NO, AND HE’S GAY?”

“Yes but-”

“Tsukki, I think you should tell him.”

“What?” Tsukishima was breathless.

“You see, if you tell him, you’ll be able to gauge his reaction, and then you’ll know if you wanna try with him or not. In my eyes, you’re a guy. But people think differently, so tell him and if he rejects you, then you know and you can move on. Have you tried talking to him more?”

“I’m trying but he’s hot.”

“YOU ACTUALLY THINK HE’S ATTRACTIVE I GOTTA MEET HIM.”

“Right. Bye.”

“WAIT-” Tsukishima hung up. His face was flushed, his anxiety high but he was determined.

-

“Tsukki! You’re back!”

“Kuroo-san.” Tsukishima’s tone maybe Kuroo gulp.  
“I have to tell you something about me, and then I want to hear what you think.”

“Sure.” Was all Kuroo could manage.

“I’m a guy, I feel like a guy, I identify as a guy and in my life and family, I’m a guy. However, I was born female, I’ve had surgery recently to remove my breasts, but I haven’t had a sex change. I still have the vagina that was born with. Some people think that that means I’m a girl. And I’m NOT.”

For a minute, a very long minute, Kuroo was quiet. He didn’t look at Tsukishima at all. More at the floor or at nothing just staring and thinking. He had a very serious expression, that mixed with hurt and anger. Or so Tsukki thought. Kuroo’s silence dragged on.

“Kuroo-san?”

Kuroo looked at Tsukishima, it was almost like he didn’t see him, but when his mind came into focus he smiled.

“I understand. You were born a girl, and chose and are a guy. You may not have a dick, but I don’t think that makes you any less of a guy. Besides, you seem very masculine. I wouldn’t have ever known if you didn’t tell me.”

“I’ve been on testosterone for a little over 4 months.” He said, with no real reason.

“This is a huge leap, pardon my crassness, but if we were to ever have sex, I would be fucking a vagina?” 

Tsukishima blanched, recoiled and blushed. He looked away out the window desperately trying to find something to focus on.

“Yes.” He spoke quietly.

“That’s alright with me. So will you go out with me? I promise even though I asked that I’m not in it for the sex!”

Kuroo was smiling again, and Tsukki was in shock. He didn’t know what to say or even look at him. He wasn’t blushing, his mind was running too fast to even be embarrassed. Kuroo was a homosexual male. Who was attracted to Tsukishima, who is also a male, but he has a vagina. But that doesn’t bother Kuroo. Not everyone could be this understanding, maybe Kuroo had some ulterior motive. He couldn’t think about that right now though, he had to get back to work. Tsukishima didn’t even register than Kuroo asked a question. He just said “Sure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look, I'm obsessed with Ushijima x Yamaguchi. They are my favorite rarepair and my favorite ship with Yamaguchi involved. Don't get me wrong, I like other ships with Yamaguchi. All except TsukkiYama, but you know it is what it is.  
Dakato if you're reading this you're awesome.
> 
> And guys, if you like the story/chapter please leave kudos, and comment on what you like, or hate feedback is super appreciated!


	3. The Boys Are Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Oikawa's birthday- I really don't know if I need to say any more than that. Everyone is gonna make some bad decisions besides our precious Akaashi and Ushijima. Tsukkishima's gonna find himself in a hard place or is that Yamaguchi idk. Stay tuned to find out!

[Bo: It’s too soon.]

[Kuroo: What do you mean?]

[Bo: I mean you can’t fall in love so suddenly, especially when you just finally got him to agree to a date.]

[Kuroo: You’re telling me that when you have been hitting on Akaashi-san for like 6 months now?]

[Bo: That’s different.]

[Kuroo: HOW???]

Bokuto Koutarou had to actually stop looking at his phone to ponder his answer. He really shouldn’t have been texting while running on a treadmill, but he wasn’t known for sensing danger if nearby. All he knew was when he stepped into the music store about 6 months ago, the smell of old books and lavender filling his nostrils and the most beautiful person that Bokuto had ever laid his eyes on. Akaashi Keiji. Of course, he didn’t know his name at the time, but he wasn’t afraid to ask. 

Ever since that day, he has been visiting the store with Kuroo and Iwaizumi weekly-nearly daily now, and Bokuto had eyes for Akaashi. 

He was fortunate enough to casually bumped into Akaashi at commonplaces such as the grocery store, or the park some days. And he would always approach Akaashi and he would always overstay his welcome. 

But Akaashi didn’t seem to mind. It must have been that smile. The soft smile that Akaashi always offered Bokuto, the one that made him melt at the seams. 

[Bo: Because he’s like my soulmate.]

Bokuto replied with a fluttering sensation in his heart, that made him stop moving. This was an extremely stupid idea because he was on a treadmill that was set to 6.5, his legs fell under him and he hit the conveyer belt with his forehead and sped off the treadmill. His head was banging and he clutched it with his hand. He opened and closed his free hand and sighed with relief when he realized his phone was safe. 

-oOo-

Kuroo making his way home, had a troubling thought, “what if Tsukishima Kei, isn’t my soulmate?”

After exchanging numbers a few days ago, and even though Tsukishima agreed to go on a date they still haven’t picked a day. Tsukishima seemed to be playing hard to get.

[Kuroo Tetsurou: How about today?]

Kuroo typed to Tsukki to gauge his reaction.

[Tsukki: And if I’m busy?]

[Kuroo Tetsurou: Do you have plans?]

[Tsukki: I might.]

[Kuroo Tetsurou: Awwwwwwww are you trying to make me jealous?!??!]

[Tsukki: No.]

[Kuroo Tetsurou: So wanna ditch your plans and come hang out with me?]

[Tsukki: Maybe.]

[Kuroo Tetsurou: Wait REALLY??]

[Tsukki: No.]

[Kuroo Tetsurou: You’re So mean.]

The comment made Tsukki crack a hint of a smile, only because he knew Kuroo didn’t mean it. Tsukki sighed aloud.

[Tsukki: If. I said yes. What would we do?]

[Kuroo Tetsurou: Well I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable, what would you be comfortable with?]

Tsukishima rolled away from his bedroom desk, he was shocked he wasn’t expecting so much consideration for his feelings. 

[Tsukki: Oh. I prefer it be public, I’m not sure I fully trust being alone with you.]

[Kuroo Tetsurou: Although it hurts my feelings, I completely understand. How does a party sound?]

[Tsukki: You got those just lying around?]

[Kuroo Tetsurou: No, but I have a friend that’s having one tonight. There might be drinking, is that alright?]

[Tsukki: It sounds fine, can I invite someone as well?]

[Kuroo Tetsurou: OMG am I gonna meet your friendssss????]

[Tsukki: Maybe.]

[Kuroo Tetsurou: I’ll meet you outside the music shop around 6 pm?]

[Tsukki: Sure. See you then.]

Tsukishima moved his phone from his hand and threw it on the bed. He didn’t really analyze what just happened. He began replaying the conversation in his head. He was playing hard to get in the beginning...and ended up with a date at the end. Tsukishima's face turned red from embarrassment, and then it turned blue and he began screaming internally.

He quickly fumbled within the sheets of his bed looking for his phone and quickly typed a message to Tadashi.

  
  


[Tsukki: WE HAVE A DATE WITH KUROO TETSUROU, BE READY BY 5.]

Tsukishima took a big sigh of relief when Yamaguchi responded back immediately.

[Tadashi: I'm SORRY??? WE WHAT???]

Tsukishima avoided confusion by phoning.

“Hello?” Yamaguchi picked up on the first ring.

“I just finished texting Kuroo, he invited me to a party, and I asked if I could invite a friend. That’s you.”

“Did you even think to ask if I was busy?”

“You’re not.”

“That’s not the point!”

“There will be alcohol.”

“I’ll be over by 5.” Yamaguchi hung up.

And Tsukishima was grateful that he knew how to coax his friend into any situation. Where there was alcohol involved, Yamaguchi was involved. 

There was still a while before the Tsukki even needed to get ready, so he went into the main room to watch a movie. Thank God he had today and tomorrow off.

-oOo-

Kuroo Tetsurou was in a bad habit of doing things without asking, like inviting Tsukishima to a party, without the party planners' permission. Kuroo swore to himself that Iwaizumi probably wasn’t going to mind. But there was a huge problem with that Oikawa Tooru might, considering that it was his birthday.

[Iwaizumi: I’m sorry, you did what?]

[Kuroo: I invited Tsukishima to Oikawa’s birthday party tonight...is that alright?]

[Iwaizumi: HOW COULD YOU DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT WITHOUT ASKING???]

[Kuroo: Iwa?]

His screen froze and then he got an incoming call. When he picked up the phone he was a little shocked, considering the first thing he heard was a shout.

“Why did you randomly invite someone to my birthday party without asking?” It was Oikawa’s voice that made Kuroo sit up straight.

“Look-Oikawa I-”

“GIVE ME BACK MY PHONE YOU SHITTY BRAT!”

“Huh! So mean Iwa-chan! I was just going to ask him some questions!”

“Hello.” Iwaizumi said curtly.

“Yeah?” Kuroo croaked.

Iwaizumi glared at Oikawa but there was a smirk on his face. “Oikawa is ecstatic to be having so many people celebrate his birthday with him.” Iwaizumi grabbed the brunette's ear and pulled down. “Aren’t you?” 

“Ow, Iwa-chan that hurts.”

“See, you’re all good. See you later!” 

There was silence afterward and Kuroo thanked the gods that he knew how to handle Oikawa. He also cursed himself for putting Tsukishima into a situation that he didn’t even know he was in. 

Even though he stopped by the music store earlier, knowing Tsukki wouldn’t be there, he still wished that he was. Kuroo was completely comfortable with the fact that Tsukishima was trans. He kinda wanted to see what he looked like as a girl but it wasn’t necessary since he was attracted to Tsukki just the way he is.

Kuroo started noticing small things about him like when he was nervous he pulled at his fingers and averted his eyes. He blushed on his cheekbones and a little on the tips of his ears. The way his blonde hair curls at the nape of his neck, and when he talks about music something lights up in his eyes. It’s all the things that make Kuroo slowly fall in love. 

-oOo- 

“You told me to be over by 5?” Yamaguchi stated while walking into Tsukishima’s apartment. Tsukki wasn't dressed yet, still in his pajamas, minded they were a different pair than the ones he slept in because he took a shower.

“Yes because we’re meeting Kuroo at the music store, and he’s taking us to the party,” Tsukki said shortly.

“Oh, Tsukki what are you trying to say?” 

“You’re always late, so I lied.” He said walking into his bedroom and closed the door, shutting it in Yamaguchi’s face.

“TSUKKKKIIIII!”

Tsukishima ignored him and began taking off his pajamas. He looked in the mirror for a moment that was on his bedroom wall. He ran a thin hand across his scar, before looking for his bandage wrap. He started wrapping the stretchable gauze around his scar and secured it in place. He pulled a dark green tee-shirt he purchased with Yamaguchi out of the closet and threw it on. Then he pulled out a dark-grey flannel and a pair of blue jeans with it. He slipped the pants on and put his flannel around his waist.

When he opened the door to his room, Yamaguchi was pouting. His mouth opened slightly, and he stared.

“What?” Tsukishima asked a little annoyed.

“Are you trying to make me fall in love?”

“What?” Tsukki said hotly.

“Tsukki you look really fucking hot! HUH IS THIS FOR KUROO-SAN?”

Tsukki blushed slightly. “What?? Oh my god, Yamaguchi, we are going to a party?!?! Am I not supposed to dress a little nice?”

“So it’s not for Kuroo-san?” Yamaguchi smirked.

“Not really,” Tsukishima responded quickly and looked around for his phone.

Yamaguchi decided to drop it when he saw the hint of blush touch the ends of Tsukki’s ears. “So what’s the occasion?” Yamaguchi asked settling himself on the couch pulling his cardigan over to cover his abdomen.

“I don’t know, he just said he had a friend who was having a party, no other details.”

Yamaguchi scoffed. “Tsukishima Kei he could be taking us to some kind of sex party!! And we could be drugged!!”

“I’m pretty sure the only drug taking would be consensual.” He said sarcastically.

Yamaguchi held a stern face but ended up breaking into laughter. Tsukishima joined him shortly after finding his phone. After the laughter died, Yamaguchi started to explain how Ushijima wanted to see him again, but they never exchanged contact information.

“Why don’t you just visit him during practice again?”

“Tsukki! He’ll think I’m stalking him!”

“You are.”

“But I don't want  _ him _ to know that!” Yamaguchi pouted and Tsukishima laughed.

-oOo-

“Why the music store?” Yamaguchi asked as the moved around impatiently outside. The store was closing soon, and Akaashi was working. Tsukishima and Akaashi Keiji didn’t speak much but when they did, it was short pleasantries. There was a weird feeling in the air that Tsukishima chose to ignore. 

He definitely thought it was strange, that after Akaashi had turned the store lights off, and closed the shop he started waiting outside with him and Yamaguchi.

“Good work today,” Tsukishima whispered breaking the silence. Akaashi whispered a word of thanks, and Yamaguchi nudged him. When Tsukki looked towards him he was raising his eyebrows, but Tsukishima didn’t get the message. Yamaguchi sighed and walked around Tsukki over to Akaashi.

“Hi, nice to meet you. I’m Yamaguchi Tadashi. I’m Tsukishima’s best friend!”

Oh introductions, that’s what Tsukki missed.

“Pleasure to meet you, Akaashi Keiji.” They shook hands and Tsukki looked up at the sky. The air was becoming a little cooler later in the day it got.

“So whatcha, doing here?” Yamaguchi asked, breaking Tsukki’s concentration on the color-changing sky.

“I’m waiting for my bo-I’m waiting for my friend. He’s escorting me to a party.”

“Huh! Really! We’re going to a party too! Do you think it’s the same one?” Yamaguchi’s excitement bubbled over, and Tsukishima finally looked over at the pair of them. They were similarly dressed, Akaashi had a slim pair of black pants with a plain white shirt and a cardigan over it. While Yamaguchi’s attire was a little more feminine. He wore a v-neck that was light blue with a pair of black pants and a grey cardigan.

Tsukishima glanced over at the expression that Akaashi held, it was almost a deadpan but the corners of his lips were curved upwards and Tsukishima wasn’t sure how to take that.

“Oh, I sure hope we are, it would be a wonderful opportunity to get to know you and Tsukishima-san more-”

“AGAAAAASHIIIIIIIII!”

Everyone but Akaashi was startled by the sudden outburst. Tsukishima looked up and was immediately uncomfortable when it looked like something resembling an owl hurtling towards them at record speed. Then he sighed loudly when he realized that it’s just the salt and pepper haired dude that comes into the music store with Kuroo sometimes. He chose to ignore him as much as possible. 

Once he approached Akaashi, he slowed down at looked and Tsukishima and Yamaguchi a couple of times with an expression that looked like confusion. 

“Good evening Bokuto-san, how was work?” He gave Bokuto a once over, that only Tsukishima was able to catch. Everyone else completely obvious. 

“It was good, it’s getting harder since we’re losing many people to school, but it’s worth it!” 

The excitement radiating off of him was too much for Tsukishima to handle so late in the day. He ignored the pair, and Yamaguchi reaching to introduce himself once again. He started looking in the other direction when he saw a familiar bedhead and wicked grin, and now he couldn’t look away at all, because he had them, on one side, and him, on another. Saying yes was a bad decision.

“Tsukishima-were you waiting long?”  _ Tsukishima huh, that’s new. _

“An eternity.” He sighed looking over at Bokuto and Yamaguchi who were overly excited about something-most likely volleyball. Tsukki looked at Akaashi hoping he was as annoyed as he was, but Akaashi had an expression that Tsukki has never seen before something close to adoration. 

“You look really good Tsukki,” Kuroo said, turning the attention back on himself. Tsukishima shot him a glance which Kuroo choose to ignore.

“Bro, you ready?” Kuroo said breaking Bokuto out of his streak of excitement to stare over at Kuroo. “Broooo Akaashi said he’ll come to the party!”

“Bo that’s obvious why else would we all be here?” Bokuto seemed to ponder that thought for a moment before brightening.

“Wait you guys are going to?! Yay!” 

“Can we go now?” Tsukishima grumbled wanting to move on. 

Bokuto seemed to understand because he walked ahead of them Yamaguchi and Akaashi in step.

“Bad day?” Kuroo said while walking beside Tsukishima a few paces behind the rest of them.

“No, it was fine. Except some guy I barely know asked me to go to a party with him, kinda worried I might be drugged and raped.” Tsukishima said with a deadpan expression. But there was a note of humor in his tone, he wasn’t sure Kuroo would pick up on.

“That guy sounds weird, but hey at least you’ll get lucky.”

“I prefer consensual sex.”

“With weird guys that ask you to parties?” Kuroo smiled at Tsukki.

“I never said he was weird,” Tsukki smirked, and Kuroo’s smile faltered a bit, he appeared to be thinking of something to say.

“So, does that mean you think he’s cool?” Kuroo smirked.

Tsukki shrugged. “Complete loser actually.” His expression gave nothing away, and the walk to the party was pretty silent after that.

-o0o-

Bokuto rang the doorbell a total of seven times before Tsukishima decided to tone the noise out. When the door swung open, it was silent meaning it must have been in the middle of a song change. Which was true because some 90’s pop songs played loudly in everyone’s ears a moment later.

“Who is it?” A sweet melodic voice was heard from inside and the tan-skinned guy with bright green eyes and muscles from the gods opened the door and yelled “THE BOYS ARE HERE!” when he left the door open the pack of them decided that was an invitation to enter the home. 

Tsukishima already wanted to leave by the time he entered the apartment.

It smells heavily of lemons and strawberries, that Tsukki assumes was the making of alcoholic beverages. Even though he wasn't planning on getting wasted, he was curious about drinking a little. He had to make sure to keep an eye on Yamaguchi who has been chatting up Bokuto and Akaashi since they left the music store. 

All about until the moment Kuroo laid eyes on the men Tsukki assumed was Iwaizumi and Oikawa, Kuroo left Tsukki's side with a squeeze of his elbow. 

Even though there was nothing between them, Tsukishima felt the sentimentality in the motion anyway, and it warmed him. 

Oikawa approached both Yamaguchi and Tsukishima. Before he even spoke, he gave the two of them look up and down. 

"Hello, nice to meet you, I'm Oikawa Tooru! Iwaizumi," the brunette turned around and pointed towards the short green-eyed male that previously opened the door for them. "My boyfriend planned this party to celebrate my 27th birthday!" 

"You look fantastic for 27," Yamaguchi nearly shouted. Tsukki had to admit that Oikawa did, in fact, look absolutely flawless for his age. Getting closer and closer to ’30s was every person in their twenties worst nightmare, but it didn’t even show on Oikawa’s flawless pale skin.

“Why thank you, I try to take care of my skin as much as possible.” Iwaizumi walked over from out of nowhere and slapped the back of Oikawa’s head, Tsukishima’s expression remained neutral but he was appalled by the action. He smiled over at him and Yamaguchi handing them a drink that looked like a fruity cooler. Yamaguchi took it eagerly, and Tsukishima whispered a thank you. 

"You better not be bothering our guests Shittykawa!"

"You're so mean Iwa-chan I was just introducing myself!" Oikawa turned his attention away from Iwaizumi to address Tsukki again. 

"Kuroo talks about you a lot, he used to talk about how to approach you, you're nothing from what I expected!" Tsukishima's left eye twitched and Iwaizumi grabbed Oikawa's ear. "Alright, that's enough. Have a good time!" Iwaizumi dragged Oikawa away, and when he turned to talk to Yamaguchi, who was already missing. 

And the person next to him was Akaashi. 

"Interesting people, no?" Akaashi asked. 

Tsukishima took in the party, Kuroo and Bokuto were at the island that expanded the kitchen. They were chugging down shots with Iwaizumi, and Oikawa was pouring them. In the corner of the counter was a person with pink hair and a male beside him with a stoic expression and black hair. They were silently filming as the boys took shot after shot. The pink-haired male was smiling and shouting words of encouragement, and the black-haired male held him with an arm wrapped around his waist. 

Tsukki's eyes traveled away from the scene to see Yamaguchi engaged in a conversation with none other than Ushijima Wakatoshi, his biggest crush ever. Tsukki cursed under his breath. 

"Yeah, they're amazing!" Tsukishima said with a sarcastic tone. 

Akaashi was laughing at that, his mouth covered by the back of his hand, he held a beer in his other hand, that barely even drank out of. 

"Not a drinker?" Tsukki asked calmly taking a sip of his drink, it burned down his throat and he appreciated it. 

"I drink, just not with lots of people." The sentence was vague and left curiosity in Tsukishima's mind. He hadn't talked to Akaashi much. They didn't know much about each other. And although Tsukishima never told him, he was pretty sure that Akaashi was aware of his anatomy and identity. The thought was comforting that he was such an understanding person. 

"Same." He said he came out a little bit of a whisper. 

And Tsukki noticed that Akaashi's attention was not on him, or the drink. He followed his eye-line and noticed that Akaashi was watching Bokuto Koutarou with every flex and movement of his arms and body. Akaashi's eyes darted around frantically, never landing in one place. A small smile made its way to Tsukishima's lips. And for a moment he looked away, and when he did, his eyes landed in the deep pools that were Kuroo's eyes. His smile dropped, and Kuroo continued to look at him. 

The raven-haired male took a sip of his beer, never breaking contact with Tsukki. For a moment Tsukishima's gaze faltered, and Kuroo's signature smirk climbed onto his face, and he turned his attention back to Bokuto. 

"Bokuto-san?" Tsukishima said. 

"Huh? Sorry?" Akaashi's trance broke, and he turned his attention back to Tsukishima(who was smiling again).

"You...admire him?" Tsukki attempted to choose his words as carefully as possible. 

Akaashi's glance returned to Bokuto, and he blushed. 

"Very much so." He said in a very defeated tone. 

"I can tell," Tsukishima said, finishing his drink. 

"I can tell Kuroo-san is highly smitten with you." Tsukishima felt himself choke as he turned towards Akaashi whose facial expression was plain, but eyes were teasing. 

Instead of arguing, Tsukishima gave a small shrug. 

"He's been hitting on me a lot." 

"And you like it."

"Well, the attention is nice."

"Especially since it's Kuroo-san's attention."

"I'm not drunk enough for this," Tsukishima said taking a few sips towards the island that had coolers of drinks. Akaashi quietly followed behind.

Tsukishima tried to shrink and hide as much as he could, but the noise clouded his ears. 

"Another shot!" Oikawa shouted.

All of the males, including Tsukishima and Akaashi, were wrapped into taking a shot with the boys around the island. Yamaguchi and Ushijima forgot on the couch. Once they were done, Akaashi rushed to Bokuto's side, who looked sick. 

Tsukishima snickered, knowing he was probably going to vomit. 

The shot burned slightly in his throat, and there was a warmth on his shoulder. His perception must be a little off because he didn't see Kuroo approach him. He was sneaky like a cat. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh hey! Thanks for reading the chapter, I would really appreciate if you left kudos, commented and maybe even subscribed to get updated every time I upload a new chapter! Check me out on Tumblr my handle is thatlowkeyhipster like it is here!


	4. Now Would Be A Good Time To Be Anyone But Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While everyone was distracted momentarily, Yamaguchi looked back up in Ushijima’s direction. 
> 
> He was looking at him.
> 
> It was a heated gaze, or really intimidating but it made Yamaguchi melt all the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of things happened between Yamaguchi and Ushijima, keep in mind that Yamaguchi is around 24-25 meaning he has been harboring a crush for Ushijima since highschool school when he's 17-18 years old. It's been a while. Yamaguchi is almost nearly infatuated with him-but he respected himself too much to allow himself to devote all of his with Ushijima-however he just might.

His conversation with Bokuto and Akaashi drowned out as he noticed Ushijima sitting on the couch with a beer in his hand, and his eyes focused on the TV screen. He knew Ushijima wasn’t a very social person, but to be watching TV at a party. It made him curious. 

Yamaguchi’s attention was pulled away for a moment, as a very tall brunette approached him and Tsukki, the introduction was short, Yamaguchi never getting to say his name. But he was distracted by the very elegance of the brunette. Yamaguchi couldn’t help the compliment that he practically screamed. No one seemed to notice, except Tsukki, who noticed everything. They exchanged pleasantries, and another attractive male brought him a drink which he took graciously. While everyone was distracted momentarily, Yamaguchi looked back up in Ushijima’s direction. 

He was looking at him.

It was a heated gaze, or intimidating but it made Yamaguchi melt all the same.

Ushijima made a small gesture of his hand to motion Yamaguchi over, and Tadashi felt like he practically ran over there, without informing Tsukishima of his sudden disappearance.

“Good evening Ushijima-san,” Yamaguchi said in the calmest voice he could muster. 

Ushijima hummed a response and scooted over for Yamaguchi to sit beside him. Yamaguchi sat down, took a quick sip of his drink. It was half empty, he didn’t even remember drinking half of his contents, he was really bad with alcohol.

He turned his attention to the TV, and couldn’t help but smile with a Volleyball match on the screen.

“All work and no play, Ushijima-san?”

“Ushijima.” The honey-haired brunette corrected without looking in Yamaguchi’s direction.

“U-Ushijima.” Yamaguchi corrected himself and finished his drink. 

“I enjoy Volleyball, outside of playing as well.” He shared.

“I can tell, you’re at a party, and watching sports. A true American man.”

“I’m Japanese.” Ushijima looked over at Yamaguchi, and Yamaguchi realized he was staring at Ushijima. A blush came across the male's face that he couldn’t help but he didn’t break eye contact. Besides, if Ushijima noticed, he could just blame it on the alcohol.

“It was a joke Ace, lighten up.”

Ushijima seemed to consider his words for a moment, he looked to ponder over a thought and then his expression went blank again returning to the TV.

“You’re busted, you know?” Ushijima blurted after a moment.

“What do you mean?” Yamaguchi titled his head.

“The coach has caught you many times sneaking into practice.”

Yamaguchi froze. The ceiling was now the floor. He didn’t know how to respond or react, sweat dripped down his face, started collecting on his neck until he felt a repeated pressure on his forehead. When he returned to reality Ushijima was in his face, tapping a finger against his head.

“Yamaguchi?” Ushijima said in a concerned tone. The freckled-male exhaled and decided it would be awesome to be anyone but himself right now.

“It’s fine you know? I told the coach you were training under me. So you should just walk through the front door of the gym the next time you stop by.” Ushijima said.

Yamaguchi was a little surprised. “Uh thank you Ushijima-sa-Ushijima.” Yamaguchi played with his empty cup, and Ushijima tipped his beer along the edges of Yamaguchi’s cup filling it about halfway. Yamaguchi scrambled a thank you.

“Aren’t you the least concerned...as to why I was sneaking into your practices?” Yamaguchi asked carefully.

“I have a few theories.”

Yamaguchi swore mentally, it wasn’t evident to anyone nearby, but it was obvious to Yamaguchi that there was a hint of a smile playing along the ends of Ushijima’s lips. 

“Care to share?” Yamaguchi asked finally relaxing against the couch, crossing his legs underneath him. Ushijima seemed to be getting more comfortable as well. He shifted his arm that was relaxed on the back of the couch, turning his attention away from the screen.

“Not really.” There was a small challenge within the depths of Ushijima’s eyes. It completely took Yamaguchi off guard. 

The brunette leaned in and whispered. “Would you like to know why?” He smiled-this alcohol is making him brave tonight. 

Ushijima looked at Yamaguchi, studied his face and slowly Yamaguchi’s bravery was faltering slowly. 

“Yes.” 

Yamaguchi’s smiled dropped. “You’ve thought about this...a lot?” 

Ushijima gave a short hum.

Yamaguchi internally screamed. The brunette is guilty of jacking off to the plays of his high school games. Zooming into the panels that caught his muscles just right. Yamaguchi downed the contents of his cup, set in onto the coffee table, and took Ushijima’s drink as well and downed all of that. Ushijima didn’t stir, he just watched it all.

Yamaguchi finally took a deep breath, his throat burned a little and he had an awkward taste in his mouth that he couldn’t recognize. 

“Right. Okay.”

This was the moment. This was the moment that Yamaguchi was going to confess to his biggest crush of all time. Ushijima Wakatoshi. What he wanted to say lost him in the haze of alcohol. He didn’t have that much but he was so bad with it, lightweight was an understatement and one more drink and Yamaguchi would be completely wasted enough to blackout. His mind was hectic, and his heart was beating a million miles a minute. His thoughts swirled, and he swallowed a couple more times to ground himself. The room was spinning just a little and he could feel the heat in his cheeks. But Ushijima was giving him his full attention, and Yamaguchi wanted nothing more than that.

The sounds of everything around them drowned out, and all Yamaguchi could hear was his heart in his ears. The light from the TV just a haze now, and Yamaguchi tried to slowly gather his thoughts. He released a breath he didn’t know he was holding and relaxed.

Ushijima nodded, he turned to face Yamaguchi which he appreciated.

“So basically ever since high school, I’ve been in love with you. Like oh my God, Ushijima you have no idea how amazing you are. You’re always quiet and stoic and calm, but you’re always trying to better yourself and maintain a healthy mental state and stay physically fit. And then there’s the fact that you’re just so _ beautiful, _ utterly grateful in everything you do, and you’re so mysterious and it’s incredibly attractive, like you have no idea how many times I’ve imagined you and I-” There was a warmth on Yamaguchi’s mouth, and it was Ushijima’s hand to quiet him. His expression has changed, and there was color in his cheeks that Yamaguchi couldn’t place-it had to be blushing with embarrassment. Ushijima refused to make eye contact with Yamaguchi. 

He grabbed onto Yamaguchi’s wrist. The brunette tried to resist but his grip was too tight, it was his left hand, and Yamaguchi bit back a whine. (Ushijima’s left hand was his dominant hand, the one that he spikes with, the one that drives Yamaguchi utterly mad.)

He was pulled into a bedroom, it was covered from floor to ceiling in Alien and Godzilla merch, from figures to posters to mugs full of pens and pencils. Yamaguchi didn’t have time to comment on it now that Ushijima was standing near him, towering of him and looking into his eyes. 

“Ushijima-”

“I didn’t think anyone was capable of feeling like this, and especially not for me.” Ushijima looked a little pained. “I’m not-I have never explored my sexuality.” He admitted a little uncomfortably.

Yamaguchi was stammering now. “It-it always about Volleyball with you, and I completely respect that.”

“Yes.”

“Ushijima-you don't have to-”

“Would you...would you allow me some time, to sort how I feel? Would you-”

“Yes…?”

“Would you allow me to kiss you? So I can...so I can test it?”

Test it? So Ushijima may not be homosexual, or heterosexual because he has never explored. That was a completely interesting concept to Yamaguchi that he could unpack later. Right now, his crush wanted to kiss him. Yamaguchi was a little under the influence, but he would have completely agreed even if he was sober.

“Yes.” He nodded furiously.

Ushijima pressed his warm palms onto the fullness of Yamaguchi’s cheeks. He leaned downwards to his height and pressed a sweet kiss against the softness of his lips. Ushijima wasn’t completely sure that he was sure what the hell he was doing, but Yamaguchi seemed content. He felt the movement as Yamaguchi opened his lips slightly and Ushijima took the opportunity to deepen the kiss. 

Ushijima had to admit that he wasn’t un-attracted to Yamaguchi. The male was pretty feminine, and those freckles made him want to kiss every single one, and he didn’t know why. He wasn’t going to say that his body immediately melted into the kiss, but it didn’t feel wrong. His mind and body accepted it. He pushed his lips fuller against Yamaguchi going even deeper into the haze that was filling his mind. 

Ushijima could feel as Yamaguchi’s hands found their way to his sides gripping tightly. This was when Ushijima figured it would be a good time to pull away. 

“Okay,” Yamaguchi said breathlessly. “How was that?” He smiled as if he was the happiest person in the world.

“It was definitely different but really good. Would you mind, spending time with me-allowing me to...court you? So I may figure out my feelings?”

“You want to date me Ushijima?” The situation was unreal, he was imagining it all he had to be. But the look on Ushijima was all the tell he needed. And Yamaguchi gave a sheepish nod and pulled out his phone.

“Do you want to give me your number?”

“Oh, yes.” Ushijima retrieved him from his back pocket, and they switched.

“Is this really happening?” Yamaguchi asked. They said switching phones back.

The honey-haired brunette patted and pinched himself, “I believe so.” He said with major sincerity.

Yamaguchi laughed.

They left the room, and Yamaguchi saw Tsukishima in a dangerous situation but was unsure if he should intervene.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tsukki is this chapter is epic, even though the majority was Yamaguchi and Ushijima, the others definitely have their moments. I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Kudos, Comment and subscribe for more!  
Find me on Tumblr at thatlowkeyhipster


	5. Can't-Wait To Tell This Story To My Grandchildren

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukishima felt a hand on his back, he would have jumped away but his body was riddled with exhaustion. Kuroo rubbed his back slowly, and Tsukishima felt his panic lessen, but the nausea was still washing over him.
> 
> Tsukishima has a little trouble in this chapter but Kuroo is there to see him through till the end.
> 
> Also, Yamaguchi is very drunk and Ushijima has to take him home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have a really good writer's habit of pre-writing chapters, but I always have them beta read first, and then I edit them a few times and they still suck! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter though!

Tsukishima couldn’t tell you how he ended up, upside down surrounded by drunk men, and a keg of beer pouring into his mouth at record speed. The fluid was burning down the length of his throat, and some of it he couldn’t even swallow as it rushed through his throat with haste. 

His eyes were closed and the noise around him was becoming louder and louder as the males shouted their encouragement all around him. The sound was slightly muffled by the blood rushing to his head, and before he knew it, it was over. He was right side up, and he pushed his glasses back on his face to see clearly. He could feel the heat in his cheeks from the amount of alcohol he consumed. He stumbled a bit, falling against a hard frame. When he looked up through the lenses on his glasses, his eyes met Kuroo’s the one who talked him into it.

  
  


_ 30 minutes earlier… _

_ Kuroo’s warmth surrounded Tsukki as he was reaching in the cooler for another drink.  _

_ “Thirsty Tsukki?” _

_ Tsukishima scoffed and didn’t bother looking as Kuroo as he reached into the ice-cold water to grab a drink. _

_ “You know, we have a keg, wanna show me how good you can hold your liquor?” _

_ Tsukishima turned towards Kuroo, “As if.” _

_ When Tsukishima turned over, he noticed Akaashi was caught in a conversation with Bokuto who was very drunk. Akaashi was laughing wildly, as Bokuto kept whispering things into his ear. ‘Great lost him’ _

_ “I guess you’re some kind of lightweight.” Kuroo waved his hand dismissively. _

_ “What? Of course not.” Tsukishima glared in Kuroo’s direction. “ You’ve never seen me drink.” _

_ “Well, anyone who says no to a keg, must be a lightweight and a noob.” _

_ “You’re a fucking asshole, aren't you? Fine bring the shit out here.” Tsukishima said placing his drink down and rolling up his sleeves. _

_ Kuroo smiled wild, placed his empty beer can down and ran into another room. Tsukki adjusted the glasses on his face, thinking about taking them off then deciding against it. He popped his knuckles.  _

_ Everyone’s attention was drawn away from any previous conversation as Kuroo rolled the keg into the kitchen. The smile on Kuroo’s face was mischievous and Tsukki rolled his eyes.  _

_ “Tsukishima-kun no-” Akaashi croaked. _

_ Tsukki shrugged his shoulders. The pink-haired male pulled his phone out again, and Kuroo readied the machine. _

_ “Ready,” Kuroo said holding up a tube. Everyone immediately focused on Tsukki. Thank god he tucked in his shirt. _

_ Tsukishima kicked his legs up in the air, and Bokuto and Kuroo caught his ankles. Tsukki steadied himself on the floor testing his balance and whispered ready, the tube entered his mouth, and Oikawa began pouring the liquid into the funnel.  _

A moment passed before Tsukishima was able to identify where he was at the moment, he blinked a couple of times trying to stop the room from spinning.

“Kuroo-san…” Tsukishima croaked. He hardly recognized his own voice.

“You okay Tsukki?” Kuroo asked with a smile on his face, however when Tsukishima looked into his eyes, he noticed a hint of concern.

“I think I'm going to throw up,” Tsukki whispered. And Kuroo’s eyes rose in surprise and started moving Tsukishima from the crowd, away from everyone.

Tsukishima wasn’t really aware of what was going on- he looked around, even though the room was still spinning, and locked eyes with Yamaguchi for a moment, before a huge wave of nausea hit him. Yamaguchi seemed to say his name and want to rush after him, but he was stopped for some reason. 

Tsukishima was forced downwards, and he fell to his knees. The ground underneath him felt fold, his knees were rocking in between ridges similar to tile. Which means Kuroo must have taken him to the bathroom, or so he hoped. 

He removed his glasses from his face, the sweat making them extremely uncomfortable. He couldn’t dwell on the thought too long as his body lurched over the toilet bowl, and his insides retched out into the bowl. He was vaguely aware of Kuroo still in the bathroom with him. He didn’t know where exactly but he definitely wasn’t going to call out to him. 

Tsukishima felt a hand on his back, he would have jumped away but his body was riddled with exhaustion. Kuroo rubbed his back slowly, and Tsukishima felt his panic lessen, but the nausea was still washing over him.

He reached for toilet paper, but Kuroo was already handing it to him before he could get it. 

“I won’t forgive you,” Tsukishima said hotly.

“I didn’t think you would,” Kuroo said with a small smirk that didn’t really reach his eyes. “I didn’t mean to make you sick. I think I should stop drinking for the night.” 

“Same,” Tsukishima said still aware of the hand rubbing circles into his back, he moved to rest his back against the bathtub and tilted his head back to relieve some of the pressure from the blood rushing to his head.

“Was this really your idea of a date?” Tsukki huffed.

“That bad huh?”

“Shit.” Tsukishima corrected as he closed his eyes. “But memorable.” He finished after a beat.

“Maybe next time, we can go somewhere with just the 2 of us? If I still have a chance.”

“No,” Tsukishima said.

“You’re so mean Tsukki!”

“I’ll think about it, I do work you know?” Tsukishima lifted his head and opened his eyes. Kuroo was looking at him really strangely. He couldn’t identify the expression. “What?” He asked.

“You look really nice without your glasses.”

“Whatever.” Tsukishima huffed, making attempted to get up, successfully he flushed the toilet and sat down on the toilet seat.

“Since you tried to kill me, you have to take me home,” Tsukishima said getting up from the toilet seat.

“Gladly,” Kuroo said with a smirk.

Tsukishima rolled his eyes and walked out of the bathroom Kuroo in tow.

As they made their way out, Yamaguchi rushed over to him asking him if he was okay.

“I’m fine Tadashi, nothing to worry about. I’m going home though, coming?”

Before Yamaguchi could respond, there was a hand placed onto his shoulder which made the three of the lookup. It was Ushijima.

“Don’t worry about Yamaguchi, I will make sure he makes it home,” Ushijima said with the blank expression on his face. Yamaguchi looked up at him through his eyelashes and Tsukishima’s face slackened.

“Sure, don’t get him .” Tsukishima’s head was banging at this point.

“Text me when you get home okay, Tadashi?”

Yamaguchi nodded furiously at the notion, and Kuroo moved Tsukki in the direction of the door.

“I can walk on my own,” Tsukishima said after a moment.

“Oh? Do you think I’m holding onto you for you? No, I’m holding onto to for me, I’m about to pass out.” Kuroo said with a grin.

“Shit, you serious?” Tsukishima grabbed onto Kuroo’s side as a reflex and Kuroo laughed aloud. 

“No Tsukki, I’m fine, thanks for worrying though.” He said patting Tsukishima’s back. Tsukishima’s grip loosened and he moved away from Kuroo opening the door to the apartment and stepping out into the cold.

“Eat shit and die.” He whispered under his breath, as he unwrapped his flannel from his waist and threw it over his shoulder taking a moment to pull his arms through. When he finally pushed his glasses onto his face and steadied them, his eyes met with Kuroo’s which was staring at him intently. 

“What now?” Tsukishima said hotly.

“You’re really hot Tsukishima, it’s kind of scary,” Kuroo said without missing a beat.

“I think you’re overreacting,” Tsukishima said pushing his shoulder harshly into Kuroo’s.

“Definitely, but you’re still attractive,” Kuroo said returning the gesture with a nudge of his arm.

“I should have never told you to take me home.” They walked away from the complex, and Tsukki started walking towards the main gate when Kuroo pulled him by the elbow to the parking lot. 

“Where are we going?” Tsukishima asked trying to get out of his grip.

“My car?” Kuroo added as if it was obvious.

“You want to drive drunk?” Tsukishima asked with the same curiosity.

“Oh, this? This is barely anything. We’ll be fine.” Kuroo said unlocking his car with the button on his key.

“Of course you drive this.” Tsukishima scoffed as Kuroo held the door open for him.

It was a matte black Tesla, Tsukishima could tell even in the dark. He stepped into the car, and he had to admit that the led light effect was really cool, but he wasn’t going to say it out loud. They were going to be fine because Tesla had an auto-pilot mode

“Type your address into the console please,” Kuroo said buckling himself into the car and checking all his mirrors. Tsukishima did as he was told, having the console repeat back the address Kuroo pulled out of the parking space and pulled onto the road, then after driving for a little bit, he put the car into auto-pilot and relaxed into his seat.

“Are you rich?” Tsukishima blurted.

“Maybe,” Kuroo said with a smile.

“Is your place like this car?” Tsukiahima asked.

“Do you wanna come over and find out?” 

Tsukishima huffed and rested his elbow on the door looking out the window.

-o0o-

  
  


Kuroo’s Tesla stopped right outside Tsukki’s apartment and both Tsukishima and Kuroo were quiet. The blonde hesitated for a moment trying to think of something to say, but nothing was coming to mind. Tsukishima sighed, he knew if he tried to get out of the car without saying anything or inviting him in, he’d never hear the end of it. 

“Coffee?” Tsukishima perked taking his seatbelt off slowly.

“I would love some,” Kuroo smirked and Tsukishima scoffed pushing the car door open.

Tsukishima moved to his door, Kuroo was catching up behind him. Tsukishima pushed his house key into his door and turned on the light in the hallway. 

“I have extra slippers for when Yamaguchi visits,” Tsukishima said gesturing towards the slippers. He bent down to take his shoes off, and slip into his own slippers.

“Pardon the intrusive,” Kuroo whispered toeing off his shoes and slipping into the slippers with ease. Kuroo noticed Tsukishima’s house smelled nice, not like there was a specific scent, but the house smelled almost new, and it was really well kept.

“You been living here long?” 

“This was my family’s home before they moved to Okinawa, so a pretty long time,” Tsukishima said. “I live by myself currently.” He added. Tsukishima wasn’t sure why he added that it was obvious.

“You clean this place up yourself?” Kuroo asked surprised.

“It’s not really hard to keep clean.” Tsukki jabbed.

Tsukishima leads Kuroo into the main room and started a pot to heat up some water. He pulled a few containers out of cabinets that were different shades of brown. “Are you a dark roast person, or light?” Tsukishima asked looking up at Kuroo through the rims of his glasses. 

“Light to medium,” Kuroo answered honestly.

“Alright, I’ll do a little bit of light and medium and a dark roast for me. Do you take cream or sugar?” Tsukishima said moving around to grab teaspoons from a drawer. Tsukki scooped up some coffee grounds and placed them into a mug. 

“Ah, just some sugar is fine,” Kuroo pushed his hand into his pocket where he felt a vibration, assuming it was his phone. When he unlocked it, he received a few videos from Hanamaki. “Hey look at that! Hanamaki sent videos from the party.”

Tsukishima scoffed and poured the hot water into the prepared mugs. The steam fogged Tsukishima’s glasses slightly and he moved his head away so he could see. 

Kuroo smiled and pressed play on one of the videos. Loud voices filled the room, the main ones being Bokuto and Oikawa. Tsukishima guesses it was probably the video that the pink-haired male shot(Hanamaki) while Kuroo and Bokuto were taking shots. Tsukishima motioned over, with two mugs in his hands, to sit on the couch. Kuroo paused the video and moved to sit on the couch. Tsukki rested against the back of the couch his mug in hand, sipping it quietly. Once Kuroo was settled on the couch beside him he pressed play, and the watched Bokuto and Kuroo get wasted. Tsukishima smirked slightly at the scene. 

The video quickly ended, and Kuroo moved to the next one scooting closer to Tsukishima and pressed play eagerly. Before Tsukishima could argue the closeness, his gaze moved to the screen to his own body being held upside down as he downed the beer. Tsukki groaned and rolled his eyes. Kuroo nudged his side and smirked. Tsukishima glared at him before sipping on his coffee.

  
  


“Can’t wait to tell this story to my grandchildren,” Tsukishima mumbled and stared at the screen. Kuroo was going through all the videos that were sent to him, and he didn’t seem uncomfortable with Tsukishima looking over his shoulder at the videos either. He was almost uncomfortable. Sharing snide comments, and joking with one another. It was strange for Tsukki to feel so comfortable with someone that wasn’t Tadashi or Akiteru. It was nice, he had to admit, just strange.

-oOo-

Tsukishima was washing out the mugs and Kuroo was walking around the living area, with vivid curiosity. The walls were surrounded by pictures of Tsukishima and his family, photos of him and Akiteru, and some volleyball pictures. And a couple had Tsukishima and Yamaguchi in them. 

“So you were always a tall blonde huh?” Kuroo asked, and Tsukishima winced at the question.

“I guess you could say that,” Tsukishima replied shortly, putting the cups on a drying rack.

Kuroo looked over at Tsukki and smiled, he lifted his phone in his hand to his face as a notification appeared on the screen.

“Just got a heads up that Yamaguchi left the party with Ushijima-san.”

“Oh. Good. Hopefully, he’s not completely wasted. Ushijima isn’t the type to take advantage of someone is he?”

“USHIJIMA??? OH MY GOD NO! That guy is really old school, more like he’ll bathe him and change his clothes with his eyes closed.”

“That’s not really comforting.”

“You asked.” Kuroo shrugged and dropped his phone into his pocket. “You gonna give me a tour of the whole house, or?”

Tsukishima scoffed but motions for Kuroo to follow him. He moved up the stairs, pointing at rooms explaining where his family used to stay, and how the arrangement was. Tsukishima moved to open his bedroom door. “This is my room.”

Kuroo stepped inside and looked around, there were a few dinosaur figurines sitting on his desk, and his walls were covered in band posters. The closet was closed, and he was tempted to open it, but he didn’t. The room was simplistic but very comfortable. The room had a nice wood smell to it, that didn’t match Tsukishima at all but it was nice. Kuroo moved to sit on the bed, and Tsukki sat in his desk chair. He threw a glance to his bedroom clock, realizing it was a little late, but it didn’t matter because he was off tomorrow.

“What now?” Tsukki said breaking the silence. 

“Got any video games?” Kuroo said.

“Yeah, a few downstairs. You wanna play?” He asked.

“Sure.” Kuroo smiled at Tsukki a bright smile, that almost made Tsukishima smile as well.

-o0o-

Yamaguchi watched as Tsukishima disappeared behind the apartment door. He was warm. He couldn’t tell if it was the alcohol, the kiss, or the fact that Ushijima was standing directly behind him radiating heat. It was comfortable but made him nervous all the same.

“You know, you don’t have to take me home, I can always just catch a cab-”

“Yamaguchi.”

“Yes?” Yamaguchi squeaked. 

“I’m taking you home,” Ushijima said pressing a hand to Yamaguchi’s lower back pushing him back towards the living area.

“Alright,” Tadashi whispered.

Oikawa and Iwaizumi were pushing against each other on the love seat adjacent from the TV, making out, like really making out. They were both flushed with alcohol. Bokuto and Akaashi were sitting at the dining table talking quietly to themselves, Akaashi was tracing tiny circles into Bokuto’s knuckles as he spoke drunkenly about something. The other 2 that Yamaguchi figured were Hanamaki and Matsukawa were sitting on the floor but the coffee table watching the TV screen. Yamaguchi and Ushijima sat on the couch and turned their attention to the screen.

When Yamaguchi really focused on the screen, he noticed it was an old Karasuno match.

“Ushijima-s-Ushijima, were you watching this earlier when I came to talk to you?”

“Mn.” Ushijima nodded. “Karasuno High had the potential to be a powerhouse, their will was strong.” Yamaguchi found himself blushing even though Ushijima was talking about the entire team as a whole. 

“I would still like to play with you sometime…” Yamaguchi said after a moment.

“Me too, you should stop by the gym when you’re free. Practice with the team.”

“I’ll try,” Yamaguchi stirred slightly, and Ushijima looked over.

“It’s getting late.”

Yamaguchi nodded, and Ushijima and he stood up from the couch.

“Thanks for the invitation,” Ushijima said to no one in particular. Iwaizumi and Oikawa were still distracted by one another and Hanamaki and Matsukawa was now distracted for the same reason. Takahiro moved his hand around the back of Issei’s neck and kissed him harshly. Bokuto was waved towards Yamaguchi, and Akaashi offered a polite smile.

-

Once the two of them were outside, Yamaguchi got really nervous. The cold of the night clung to his skin, and none other than Ushijima Wakatoshi was walking slowly in front of him. He was having doubts. Not only doubts but so many thoughts in general. His mind was running a million miles a minute, from nervous laughter to hot erotic scenes. He wanted to throw himself at Ushijima and surrender his body and soul to the hunk of the man. Yamaguchi twirled his hair in his fingers, as they started towards the parking lot.

“Ushijima, were you serious about dating me?”

“Yes.” He answered shortly.

“But, you’re not sure of your sexuality, and I don’t want to do anything that will make you uncomfortable. Because I know I’m gay and I know I like you. I just hope I’m not pressuring you into anything.” Usually, when Yamaguchi spoke, Ushijima cut him off once he started rambling, but he didn’t do that this time. He let him speak. Yamaguchi looked up nervously at Ushijima who just staring down at him. Yamaguchi wanted to say more, but the male gaze made him lip locked.

“I don’t think I could be uncomfortable or feel pressured into anything that I have never experienced before...If there anything you want to talk to me, please ask, so that I can know what I could possibly be comfortable or uncomfortable with.” Ushijima spoke. That was the most Yamaguchi had ever heard him speak when not talking about Volleyball.

“Okay, but are you sure you’re okay with me?”

Ushijima tilted his head to the side,” Why wouldn’t I be?”

Yamaguchi blushed and rushed over to the car.

“How did you know which car was mine?” Ushijima asked. He looked curiously at Yamaguchi who refused to make eye contact has he unlocked the doors. 

Eventually, understanding crept into Ushijima’s mind.

-oOo-

They were driving for a bit, Ushijima driving steadily on the road. Before turning to Yamaguchi who seemed to be relaxing in the passenger seat.

“Yamaguchi, where am I going?” Ushijima finally asked.

“Oh, sorry, I live on campus.” He said after a beat. Ushijima nodded in understanding and sped up a little. 

The ride was quiet, Yamaguchi hadn’t noticed but before but Ushijima had some jazz playing low in his car. If it was supposed to be extremely soothing it was. However, the alcohol in which Yamaguchi consumed was not helping his case. His body felt hot. Very hot in fact. And he wasn’t sure he would make it home before he made a full of himself.

The music filled his ears, and even though he knew in his right mind it wasn’t getting louder, it sure sounded like it. Blood was rushing through his entire body, and his vision was a little blurry. His mind was full of hazy thoughts. Some fleeting others were constant. 

Like the kiss. The kiss was something that no one could have anticipated. Something Yamaguchi was sure only could happen in his late-night fantasies. Was this a fantasy? In his state he couldn’t tell, his fantasies were usually him in a lusted haze, but now he was in a drunken haze. Yamaguchi reached his hand over to touch the material of Ushijima bottoms. He ran his fingers in the fabric for a few seconds, and he felt Ushijima tense under his touch. The honey-brunette didn’t look over, he just kept driving. 

“The material feels real, but it feels real in all my fantasies.” There was an audible gulp from the driver, and Yamaguchi smirked.

Ushijima was conflicted. He knew that Yamaguchi was in a drunken state, and he had previously confessed to fantasizing about Ushijima. He wasn’t sure if he should let him do what he is thinking, or to stop him before something happens. Warmth spread through him when he feels Yamaguchi rub his thigh with his hands, the gesture was small, but teasing nonetheless.

Ushijima pulled up to the gate entrance, and Yamaguchi’s hand pulled back and he settled himself into the passenger seat. Ushijima unbuckled his seatbelt and handed the officer his school ID, the officer allowed them on campus.

“Which section of the dorms is it?” 

“B-group.”

“Mmm, a friend of mine lives there as well.”

“I know.”

“Exactly how much do you know about me?” Ushijima asked his curiosity getting the best of him. 

“A lot, sorry if that’s weird.” Yamaguchi looked over apologetically. 

Ushijima didn’t really say anything else after that. He pulled into the parking area for students. The two of them sat into the quiet of the car. Ushijima had turned the car off and had taken off his seatbelt. Yamaguchi did the same. 

“Did you want to walk me up?” Yamaguchi blurted holding tightly onto the door handle.

“Yeah.” Was all he said, as he quickly pushed the car door open and stepped out. He was over to Yamaguchi’s side as quickly as he could, holding the door open.

Ushijima held Yamaguchi on his side helping him up the stairs. “I would invite you in, but my roommate isn’t cool with guests.”

“That’s fine. Will you be alright?”

“I should be fine Ushijima-san. Thank you for tonight.”

“You’re welcome. I will…” Ushijima stopped a look of confusion highlighted on his face by the door light. “Text you when I get home.”

“Oh yes please, I would greatly appreciate it.”

“Goodnight, Yamaguchi Tadashi.” Ushijima pressed a kiss to Yamaguchi's forehead and trotted back downstairs.

Yamaguchi tried the door first, it was unlocked. Kenma always forgot to lock it when he came home from work. It was a bad habit but they were living on campus so it wasn’t that bad.

Yamaguchi shuffled into the house after putting on a pair of slippers, to find Kenma on the couch in the living room playing on his PSP.

“Welcome home.” The small boy whispered from the sofa.

“Thanks, do you work tomorrow?” Yamaguchi said shrugging on his cardigan.

The boy shook his head no, and Yamaguchi moved to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee.

“Party?” Kenma asked.

“How did you know?”

“Alcohol,” Kenma said.

Yamaguchi nodded in understanding, Yamaguchi must have smelled heavily of alcohol to someone like Kenma who worked in a bar.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Huh?” Yamaguchi asked startled.

“The party, you’re being quiet and weird, which means you have something you want to say.” Kenma’s perception would kill Yamaguchi someday.

“It's not like that-its I mean, Ushijima was at the party and I-”

Kenma powered down his PSP, and sat up on the couch, he patted the empty space next to them. Yamaguchi moved to the couch eagerly with 2 coffee mugs in hand. He handed one to Kenma. When Kozume took a sip, he internally smiled. Yamaguchi learned how Kenma took his coffee and it made him happy. 

Yamaguchi started recapping the events of the day, and Kenma just listened steadily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, leave a comment or any feedback on the fic, whether the chapter sucked, or if you liked it, if the relationship dynamics were cool literally anything, please!!


	6. The Good, The Bad, and The Okay I Guess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone just got completely wasted and had a little fun, this chapter touches upon on what everyone who attended the party or mentioned in the last chapter is doing the night after. It includes all characters, it’s gonna be a little fluffy, there is an entire smut scene within this chapter. There is definitely a little angst- 
> 
> Tsukishima has a crush  
Akaashi is insecure  
Bokuto is in love  
Yamaguchi is a fanboy  
Ushijima is confused  
Kuroo wants some love  
Oikawa gets it  
Iwaizumi gives it to him  
Hanamaki is a happy drunk  
and Matsukawa is content

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know what I just posted a chapter earlier this week but like, this chapter is done. I mean I edited it like 4 times and it still sucks the tenses change like every other word and it's frustrating trying to fix it, but I hope you enjoy this chapter and all its little intricacies.

“Tsukki! This is so unfair, you must play this game all the time!”

“Only when Tadashi and Kozume come over really. Mainly Tadashi.” Tsukishima admitted.

“Kozume...that name sounds familiar…” 

“Does it?” Tsukishima asked, drifting around inside the tunnel, passing Kuroo again.

“Yeah whatever, don’t think you can distract me! I’ll get you!” 

Tsukishima snickered as he continued to press the gas button and release a few times. He found this easier than drifting. “You better hurry,” Tsukishima whispered. Kuroo’s eyes flashed over to the map and noticed that Tsukishima was close to the finish line.

“Damnit!” Kuroo shouted as he started pressing buttons harder and quicker, but suddenly the game stopped and announced the winner. 

“You cheated,” Kuroo said, crossing his arms.

“Oh yeah, on some racing games, sure,” Tsukishima said with a roll of his eyes.

Kuroo hummed in affirmation. Tsukishima stood up to get more coffee, they had only had about 2 cups, and the caffeine was running high in their systems. Tsukishima didn’t realize that spending time together with Kuroo could be so much fun and...comfortable. Tsukishima looked at the time, it was nearly 2 in the morning. He felt like he should probably ask Kuroo to leave, but there wouldn’t really be any point at this time. 

Yeah, that’s what Tsukishima will say. 

He can get Kuroo some blankets and he can stay out here on the couch or floor. Well, he could stay in Akiteru’s room, or his old parent's room. It depends on where he would be most comfortable. 

Wait a minute. Was Tsukishima actually thinking about letting Kuroo Tetsurou stay at his house for the night? 

It’s not like Kuroo would try anything,  _ would _ he?

“Woah, I guess I should head home, I had no idea about the time…” Kuroo spoke, breaking Tsukki’s train of thought. He turned around abruptly, holding to coffee mugs.

“You can stay if you want.” Tsukishima blurted in panic. Kuroo’s face seemed to slacken, something seemed to darken his eyes before they lightened and he smirked. 

“Would you be okay with that?” Kuroo asked.

“Well I have like 2 extra rooms, or you could sleep out here in the living room. As for okay with it, this isn’t an invitation to have sex, it’s an invitation so you don’t have to drive in the dark, drunk.” Tsukishima handed Kuroo his coffee mug, and Kuroo took it with a wink.

“You know, I sobered up after my first coffee, and my car has an auto-pilot mode…”

“Okay, fine leave.”

“Nonononono, Tsukki! Thanks for offering your home to me, I would love to stay!” Kuroo cooed. Tsukishima shot him a glare before holding his legs underneath himself and sat on the couch. “Then you’re welcome to stay.” He said as he grabbed his phone.

He hadn’t noticed the message that Yamaguchi sent him, explaining that he was home. Also, several other messages explaining that he needed to tell him something, but sleep was more important. Tsukishima rolled his eyes and scrolled through his phone a bit more before setting it back down on the couch-side table.

“You need to head to bed? It’s pretty late.” Kuroo said.

“No, I don’t work tomorrow. Days off are Sunday and Monday.” Tsukishima said.

“Noted.” Kuroo nodded. “More games?” Kuroo asked.

“Sure.”

-oOo-

Driving home was easy. Ushijima only had a sip of beer before Yamaguchi stole it from him. Ushijima didn’t expect to see the male at the party, he had only gone because Oikawa invited him and it was Oikawa’s birthday. It would have been extremely rude if he didn’t show up or so he assumed. He didn’t really engage with anyone the entire night except Yamaguchi. And the night could definitely be described as more than engaging. Ushijima stirred momentarily before settling. It wasn’t a terrible experience kissing Yamaguchi-but Ushijima can’t admit that it was amazing. He wasn’t completely sure if he liked it, but he knew he wanted to explore the feeling it gave him. He had never been able to focus on romance or perform any romantic gestures, but he was willing to try.

He remembered the expression on Yamaguchi’s face as he pulled away. Utter bliss and happiness. He couldn’t process why, but he wanted to see it more, he wanted the same warmth to fill him as it did then. He wanted to be the only one to make Yamaguchi make that expression and feel that bliss.

-

After a quick shower, Ushijima was ready for bed. He plopped down on the mattress and closed his eyes. He couldn’t stop the constant running of his mind. He turned on his side to grab a hold of his phone, he sighed and typed a number into the dial pad quickly, then press call.

“Wakatoshi? Why are you calling me at this hour?”

“Were you asleep?” Ushijima asked.

“No of course not, I’m still curious,” Tendou called from the other line.

“I need your help or advice,” Ushijima added.

“Oh, interesting what’s this about?”

“So today, I kissed a guy. He confessed his feelings for me, and I wasn’t sure how to react, and he almost started speaking about how he’s had sexual fantasies about me and I didn’t want to reject him-so I told him I would try-”

“Woah Woah Woah, information overload. You kissed a guy?”

“Yes, and I didn’t hate it-I might have enjoyed it a little.”

“Well kissing is a very intimate act-whether it’s between man and woman or man and man.”

“What should I do?” Ushijima asked.

“I don’t know, date the guy? Fuck him?” Tendou suggested.

“I don’t know about the last one, but I might want to court him, just for his kindness.”

“Awe, Wakatoshi! You might fall in love!”

“Mm.” Ushijima hummed.

There was a bit of silence. Ushijima stirred slightly. He could hear a faint humming noise from Tendou’s side of the call, it sounded almost like purring. 

Ushijima had never considered the concept of love. Was he even capable of such an emotion? He knew how people act when they are together-or at least how Oikawa and Iwaizumi care for each other. Ushijima knows how not to be when in a relationship due to his personal experience of his own family. Love had never been something he had to consider or even think about.

“How do you know?” Ushijima said breaking the silence.

“Hm? About what?” Tendou cooed.

“How do you know, if you love someone? Or care for them even romantically?”

For a moment Ushijima was able to hear Tendou choke and stutter. “ I-i don’t know-I’ve only been in one  _ real _ relationship-and you know what happened.”

“Were you in love?” Ushijima asked.

Tendou sighed. “Yes I was, but I can’t tell you how-I just was.”

“Goodnight, Satori.”

“Goodnight.” Tendou hung up.

Quickly, after the call ended Ushijima opened his messaging menu, he typed a quick goodnight to Yamaguchi before he locked his phone and set it down beside him.

“Yamaguchi Tadashi,” Ushijima whispered to himself and then he smiled.

-oOo-

  
  


The lights were dimmed but Iwaizumi could still see the sweat dripping off Oikawa’s back. He resisted the urge to lick along his spine as he thrust his hips into Oikawa’s behind. Oikawa’s moaned, the sound slipping out from the wet surface of his lips. Iwaizumi snaked a hand around the male’s mouth to stop the heavenly moans from escaping. 

“Matsu and Makki are still here.” Iwaizumi whispered as he leaned his chest flush against Oikawa’s back, dangerously close to his ear. Oikawa keened at the sound. 

“Should we let them hear you?” He can feel Oikawa quiver under his touch, he released his hold against his plump lips and snaked his hand into his the softness of the brunette’s hair, pulling tightly. 

“How’s that sound?” Iwaizumi asked. Forcing himself deeper within his partner. Oikawa cried out, his moans choked as he felt Iwaizumi’s mass push deeper against his walls. His face was flushed. It was a mix of alcohol and utter ecstasy from the hard penetration and skimming of his prostate. 

“Did you have a good birthday?” Iwaizumi asked, bringing his free hand around to Oikawa’s throbbing cock. Hajime begins circling his thumb around the tip, spreading the precum. 

“Yes, sir.” He pants through gritted teeth. He feels the pressure of Iwaizumi’s hand around his member and almost collapses from the feeling.

“Oh, such a good boy for me.” He pulled tighter on his hair, bringing his body against his own, now both of them fully sitting on their knees. Iwaizumi moving against Tooru’s ass, pushing against the hilt of his hole. Hajime begins to pump the brunette’s dick, allowing the precum to act as a lubricant. He slides his hand up and down along the shaft, matching the movements with his hips. 

“Haji-me-” Oikawa exclaims as the sensation beings to take over his body. Warmth being to spread through him. Iwaizumi closes his hand over Oikawa’s throat, while he continues to pump his cock. 

“I’m close.” Iwaizumi says through gritted teeth. 

“Me too.” Oikawa manages.

“Come for me baby,” Iwaizumi whispers against Oikawa’s neck.

Ecstasy rolls over both of them Hajime hisses as he feels Tooru tighten around his cock. Oikawa shivers. And can feel Iwaizumi’s come filling him up inside. They both exhale heavily, as they fall on their sides. 

“Matsukawa and Hanamaki definitely heard that.”

“If they’re still awake,” Tooru whispers.

“Happy Birthday Tooru.” Hajime smiles against Oikawa’s back.

-oOo-

  
  


“Issei-they’re having sex.” Hanamaki cried as Matsukawa laid still by his side on the couch.

“I know Takahiro. I have ears.” He said. Hanamaki slapped his arm in response.

“Don’t they know we’re here?” Hanamaki asked.

“Yes, babe they do. But it’s Tooru’s birthday.” Matsukawa turned to spoon Takahiro.

“I’m wasted,” Hanamaki admitted. 

“Yes. You are.” He agreed.

Takahiro reached in his pocket to pull out his phone he opened up his gallery and pressed on the first video he saw. 

Noises played from the tiny speaker on his phone Hanamaki fell into a fit of laughter. Matsukawa looked over at the phone screen and cracked a smile. Issei held tightly onto the male as he laughed, and began to laugh along with him. The two of them were watching Bokuto standing on top of the island dancing shirtless.

-oOo-

Akaashi thought that a cab would be a good idea for taking a drunk male home. This was a side of Bokuto that Akaashi had never seen before. Bokuto Koutarou was a very honest and clingy drunk. Not that Akaashi minded much but there are some lines to friendships that aren't meant to be crossed. And that’s all he and Bokuto were, weren’t they? Just friends? 

Akaashi can’t deny the fact that he finds Bokuto extremely attractive, you would have to be blind to not see a single thing about the salt and pepper haired boy utterly adorable and he is a successful business owner at such a young age; owning one of the most prestigious clubs in the prefecture the Transparent Owl. Akaashi really was chasing someone out of his league. 

Akaashi stumbles into the male’s apartment, not only that it was a huge hassle getting Bokuto’s house keys out of his pocket when the other wouldn’t stop laughing. Something new Akaashi learned, Bokuto Koutarou is very ticklish. 

Bokuto leaned against the wall in the hallway while Akaashi took off his shoes. He slipped on a pair of slippers before returning to Bokuto’s side. 

"Akaashi you're so pretty!" Bokuto whined as he stumbled into the hallway. 

"What are you talking about Bokuto-san?" Akaashi said shocked. 

“And you’re so nice,” Bokuto added. “And I like your hair, and your eyes, and s-sometimes I find myself staring at your lips, and I think about kissing them.”

Akaashi held Bokuto tighter for a moment as he processed everything that was just said. Bokuto thinks he’s pretty. Bokuto-san thinks he’s nice, and he likes his hair and eyes. And Bokuto wants to kiss him. But-he and Bokuto are just friends. Akaashi knew since middle school that he was also more attracted to guys than girls, but Bokuto was the first person that he was really invested in. 

“Bokuto-san, do you know what you’re saying right now?” Akaashi asked.

“Of course, Akaashi, I’m saying I want to kissss you.” Bokuto stood up a little straighter before he placed his hands on Akaashi’s cheeks, leaning into his face.

Before Akaashi could process Bokuto’s lips are on his, moving slowly. Bokuto’s hand is slowly and gently moving down the curve of his body, and Akaashi tensed but the feeling wasn’t completely uncomfortable. Akaashi wanted this. He wanted it so bad. Akaashi allowed himself to melt into the kiss, kissing Bokuto back with purpose and ferocity. Akaashi moved his hands into Bokuto’s hair, which has flattened due to the day coming to an end. Akaashi moved his hand into the white and black bunches and pulled slightly. Bokuto whined at the action and moved his hand around Akaashi’s waist. He lifted Akaashi off of his feet and pushed him roughly against the hallway wall. Akaashi exhaled harshly, wrapping his legs around Bokuto to regain equilibrium. Bokuto pulled away from his lips and moved to his neck. Bokuto pressed long hard kisses against his skin, which made Akaashi grab tightly onto Bokuto broad shoulders. He always wanted to do this. He wanted to touch all over the expansive of his back, and chest, and stomach. To feel the muscles that tease him at every moment, that mock him. Akaashi wants to make it all his. 

“Kaashi.” Bokuto drawled, pulling away from Akaashi neck. Akaashi opened his eyes to see Bokuto’s eyes dripping with utter lust and heat. He can now feel his neediness pressing against his thigh. 

“What-” The sound of his name seemed to break him out of his haze.

“I-” Akaashi was dumbfounded about how he allowed himself to end up in this position with Bokuto Koutarou. “Bokuto-san, can you let me down please?”

Bokuto does so a little reluctantly, he felt a little sober now, but he’s drunk with lust. Akaashi lips are throbbing slightly from the rough kiss, he subconsciously brought a hand to his lips. When the raven-haired male looks up at Bokuto, the taller is looking down at him with a mix of concern and lust.

“Well-uh-Bokuto-san we successfully got you home safely now, I will be leaving, make sure to take care of yourself tonight.” Akaashi shimmy’s out of Bokuto’s grasp and quickly grabbed his shoes and runs out of the house before Bokuto can say anything to him.

When he’s outside and away from the door, he quickly bent down to shove on his shoes. 

Bokuto kissed him, and Akaashi kissed him back. He wasn’t thinking, what if Bokuto gets the wrong idea. What is the wrong idea? Akaashi was basically in love with the enthusiastic-owl of a man. He does love him. It has taken him a long time to admit it to himself, but today definitely confirmed it. But Akaashi wasn’t good enough for him. He’s small and boring. He never makes an effort to put himself out there. He’s been hurt before and he’s too afraid to open up again. But it’s happened. It’s really happened with Bokuto-san. He lied to himself. He did it again, he let himself think it was okay. Bokuto-san couldn’t possibly want someone like him. What if Bokuto thinks he wants him for his money. Some kind of gold digger type. All Akaashi does is work at a music store and paint sometimes. He has no idea what he wants to do with his life and he’s almost 30. If he wanted a serious relationship-shouldn’t he already be in one. But it’s too late, he already messed up his chance with any type of relationship with Bokuto. 

A thought comes to his mind. Bokuto was drunk, and Akaashi was sober. That basically means that he took advantage of him. Bokuto will never forgive that he doesn’t know what to do. He just wants to get home. He doesn’t know who to call, he doesn’t own a car and he doesn’t want to waste any more money on a ride. 

His hands are shaking in the cold of night, and the scene is really pathetic, but maybe he can call Takeda-sensei, even if it is extremely late Akaashi doesn’t have a choice. He pulls his phone from his jeans and looks the number up in his contacts.

“Hello? Keiji-kun?” A small voice comes through the phone.

“Takeda-sensei, I need your help...can I send you an address, could you pick me up from there?” His voice is shaky, he didn’t realize before but he’s crying.

“Keij-of course, just give me a minute. Send me the address I’m on my way.” Ittetsu hung up the phone.

Akaashi texts him the address quickly. He huddles under a street lamp trying to wipe the tears from his eyes with the ends of his cardigan.

-oOo-

Yamaguchi is exhausted and it feels amazing to be tucked into bed, letting the warmth of his blankets engulf him completely. 

After being able to spill the details of tonight with Kozume, Yamaguchi will be able to fall asleep peacefully tonight. His excitement was on high, and he would have loved to tell the whole story to Tsukishima first but he assumed he was either asleep or busy. 

Yamaguchi knew it was extremely late but he checked his phone one last time. When he unlocked his phone he noticed he had a message from Ushijima. It was a simple goodnight, but it made his heart skip a beat nonetheless. It was such a warm feeling having Ushijima finally in his life, he is extremely excited for what the future holds for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave kudos and comment! I wanna hear your thoughts and opinions on the story! 
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr @thatlowkeyhipster


	7. Oh My God They Were Roommates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More KurooTsukki moments <3
> 
> Akaashi internalizes his feelings.
> 
> Oikawa is feeling right
> 
> Yamaguchi drunk dials Ushijima-
> 
> There's smut-if you don't want to read UshiYama smut you might wanna skip the ending.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What? A New Chapter in 2020!!! Woah! 
> 
> I've been busy with kinkmas, as you can tell if you're following me! But I haven't abandoned my fics!!!

About a week has passed since Oikawa’s Tooru’s awful birthday party that left everyone with a massive hangover. Well, except for those who didn’t drink. And those who ended the night crying or smiling happily to themselves.

Tsukishima allowed the bed-headed monster to stay over. He learned that he was the loudest snorer known to man, but the snoring didn’t really bother him as much as he thought it would. 

Tsukishima felt gross waking up in the morning, and he felt a shower was in order. It was really difficult for him to shower with a stranger in his home, but he needed to apply his scar ointment to clean skin. The very idea of Kuroo watching him, or even hearing him do this made him uncomfortable that he thanked the unproven gods in heaven that he was a deep-sleeper. Which he found out watching Kuroo pass out in the middle of the racing games cut-scene, with loud gunshots and shouting.

After wrapping his chest with his gauze he quickly threw on some clothes to check on the scene in the living room. Kuroo was hanging off the couch with the blanket sprawled out on the floor, and Tsukishima could not stop himself from laughing. He got as close as he could without waking him to take a picture of the moment. 

Quickly Tsukishima made his way over to the kitchen, after successfully taking the picture. As he looked through his camera roll, hiding a fit of laughter behind his hand at the amount of drool that has dried on his face. He is sure Kuroo Tetsurou had seen better days. 

Tsukishima preps coffee, it will probably be Kuroo and Tsukki’s fifth or sixth cup in the past twelve hours. It is a surprise either of them is even able to sleep with the amount of caffeine they’ve consumed. 

As he poured the dark liquid into mugs Tsukki saw Kuroo stir from his awfully uncomfortable position on the couch. He groaned loudly, and Tsukki almost found the noise sexy, not that he would ever admit it. Tsukki stifled a laugh when he saw Kuroo sit up quickly and look around. Tsukishima stood quietly and sipped his coffee. Kuroo turned toward him and gave him a small wave. 

“Good morning,” Kuroo whispered, in a sleepy voice, that made the hairs on Tsukki’s neck stand. Tsukishima raised his coffee mug to him and pointed toward the one beside him. Kuroo stood up from the couch with a yawn stretching out his limbs. His shirt rode up a little and Tsukki allowed his gaze to linger on Kuroo’s v-line that moved into the hem of his pants. Kuroo doesn’t mention anything about it so he assumed, he was in the clear.

“Long night?” Tsukishima asked gathering Kuroo’s mood.

“The longest, but I had a cute blonde to spend it with,” Kuroo said with a wink, reaching for his coffee.

“Doesn’t sound too bad.” Kei jokes.

“Not at all. However, I one hundred percent crushed him in racing games.” Kuroo said.

“Not a chance.” Tsukki retorts.

“Rematch then?” Kuroo offered.

“Maybe after you take a look in the mirror, I don’t know if I want to play games with hungover Kuroo-san.”

“Still with the honorifics? I literally slept over at your house.”

“And made a mess.” Tsukishima glared.

Kuroo quickly turned around to look at the aftermath of last night, he sighed and then turned back toward Tsukishima.

“I’ll clean up, maybe you can lend me your shower and then?”

Tsukishima rubbed his fingers around the handle of his coffee mug. He didn’t look at Kuroo. He stared into the deepness of his cup. He’s not sure he’s comfortable with allowing someone to use his shower that isn’t Yamaguchi or Akiteru. It’s just a quick shower, it’s not like anything can happen. Except Kuroo will be able to see all his skin products, but it’s not like he should be embarrassed that he takes care of his skin. The feminine products might be a little bit of a turn-off, but it apparently doesn’t bother Kuroo. So what is Tsukishima so scared of?

“Do you have clothes?” Tsukishima asked.

“Yeah lemme check my car, I might have some spares,” Kuroo said, setting down his coffee mug and heading into the living room to pick up. He folded blankets quickly and stacked them neatly on the floor before fixing the couch cushions and pillows. He placed the blankets on the couch and fixed up the coffee table before he headed out the door.

Tsukishima set his cup down and screamed internally. Kuroo Tetsurou, a frequent customer at Vintage Wanderlust(music store), and an admirer of Tsukishima Kei had slept over at his house. His home, which he lived alone and occasionally got visits from Akiteru.

Kei ran his hands through his hair several times before taking a large breath. It’s not that Kei was embarrassed or isn’t interested- but he’s never done anything like that before. Trusting someone so easily. Tsukishima blames it on that fucking smirk.

Kuroo came back in with a couple of articles of clothing. Tsukishima left his coffee mug behind to show Kuroo the bathroom. Kuroo was pretty sure he used it once last night, but he doesn’t remember clearly. Tsukishima explained how the water handles are a little finicky and he’ll have to play with them a little to get the right temperature.

“Clean towels are in the cabinet,” Tsukishima said before he left.

Tsukishima killed time by putting away the blankets. He moved to the kitchen to cut up some fruit. The knife made a loud clicking noise as he cut the fruit. It startled Tsukishima and, it’s the first time he’s aware of it since it’s the first time he’s had someone in the house.

-

Tsukishima is well into washing the dishes. He was able to prepare egg omelets with greens and fruit. He also has a rice cooker going and some fish simmering on the stove. 

Tsukishima placed all the dishes on the drying rack when he hears Kuroo call him from the bathroom. “Tsukki!”

Kei rolled his eyes and walked over, realizing the possibility that Kuroo could be naked. When he turns the corner he’s thankful that the male is fully clothed.

“Yes, Kuroo-san?” Tsukishima said.

“What is this?” Kuroo asked with curiosity.

For a moment Tsukishima gives him a puzzled look, and Kuroo just waits for him to answer. “That’s my surgery scar cream,” Tsukishima says.

“Does that mean,” he points at Tsukishima’s chest and Tsukishima just nods.

“What were breasts like?” Kuroo asked with a smirk.

Tsukishima scoffed and rolled his eyes as he leaned against the door frame.

Tsukki and Kuroo follow this same pattern until Kuroo stumbled upon a bag of tampons. Tsukishima’s gaze drops to the floor as a blush hit his face.

“I hardly get periods anymore,” Tsukishima said defensively.

“I wasn’t gonna ask,” Kuroo said with a shrug. 

“I made breakfast,” Tsukishima said quickly. 

He’s learned something new about Kuroo Tetsurou. Kuroo curious but he’s aware of boundaries.

“A man after my own heart,” Kuroo said, grabbing his chest dramatically. 

Tsukishima left the dramatic man behind him and headed for the kitchen. Kuroo was already in tow behind him, sniffing the air curiously. “Who knew you could cook?” Kuroo said.

“My mother was training me to be a housewife like her-” Tsukishima trailed off and laughed. Kuroo gives him a smile as he understood and Tsukki can’t help but blush slightly.

“You can be a house-husband,” Kuroo said, reaching for his coffee, the smell of food infiltrating his nostrils. He looked around eagerly when his eyes settled on the dining room table that had plates of food. Tsukishima sat at the table with his coffee, and Kuroo joined him. 

They eat-in quiet for a little bit before Kuroo inevitably started a conversation. Kei thought that eating alone is definitely lonelier than eating with someone.

-oOo-

Akaashi had avoided Bokuto at every turn. The night after the party he basically turned off his phone, knowing that when Bokuto woke up in the morning he would immediately text him. It just wasn’t possible for Akaashi to talk to him after what happened. Bokuto-san must be so embarrassed that he kissed someone like Akaashi. Someone weird and unattractive, and then that same person took advantage of him while he was under the influence. There was no way that Bokuto would say all those things to him sober- since he never had before.

Bokuto had gone as far was visiting Vintage Wanderlust, it made Akaashi so distraught that when he went home that evening he cried himself to sleep.

“Can’t we just talk for a little bit outside, Akaashi?” Bokuto asked with a concerned look on his face. 

“I’m working Bokuto-san, we will talk when I am free,” Akaashi said without looking up from his records.

Bokuto has even tried to seek help from Tsukishima, but Tsukishima and Akaashi haven’t talked either. It made Tsukishima wonder if Akaashi had anyone to confide in. 

Akaashi would always had Takeda-sensei. His old high school teacher was always more than that to him, for him. He had always been more like a father figure, someone he could depend on since Akaashi didn’t have any family. Orphaned at such a young age, Ittetsu was the first person to ever make him feel wanted and like family. 

Bokuto made Akaashi feel the same way, but he feels so disgusting for that night, taking advantage of him like that. He knew he should talk to Bokuto, and explain what happened, and what’s going on in his mind, but he can’t, he’s not ready. And if Akaashi had learned anything it’s to prepare and wait until you’re ready.

-oOo-

His birthday present from Iwaizumi was satisfactory, he fell asleep easily afterward and Hajime had to carry him to the bathtub to soak his behind. Iwaizumi runs his fingers through Oikawa’s hair was the other breaths slowly. Iwaizumi places gentle kisses against his forehead while pouring warm water all around him with his hands. He’s so vulnerable in this state, Iwaizumi almost thinks about taking advantage of the situation, but he knows Oikawa has to work the next day. 

Iwaizumi settled them both into bed and Oikawa is undisturbed for the rest of the night.

Oikawa is back in his streak, his business has been booming and he’s been killing the game. His birthday, thanks to his boyfriend, was amazing that he’s still riding high from it. Iwaizumi means everything to him, that everything he does, with the business, with his family, is for him. And he’s constantly trying to figure out ways to repay him.

Iwaizumi is working hard, watching people come into the rehabilitation center to work on their bodies and their injuries remind him of the way Oikawa was in high school. The thought makes him smile and motivates him into trying even harder in his job. He loves working as a physical therapist, enjoys hearing people’s stories and gains knowledge and inspiration from everyone that comes in.

-oOo-

Yamaguchi was one of the ones who had an awful hangover that Monday morning that went away a little later in the day. It had to- because he had to go to school. His morning classes were absolutely awful, but by the time lunch rolled around, he was starving and had a massive migraine. He didn’t have to complain long because Ushijima was waiting by the cafeteria for him, and they spent the lunch period together. Which made Yamaguchi’s headache drift away. 

Almost every day of school happened like that, Ushijima was quietly waiting outside of the cafeteria. Yamaguchi never asked him if he had the same type of schedule, he was too focused on the fact that they could spend time together. He got to know a lot more about Ushijima throughout the week, mainly simple things, little things that you wouldn’t be able to know through magazines, and interviews. Yamaguchi got to know Ushijima personally, a little about his family that he was willing to share-but Ushijima got to know Yamaguchi a lot. He would become so engulfed in conversation that he would start talking and then never stop. Even though he apologized constantly for rambling Ushijima didn’t seem to mind at all.

-

There’s a thought in the back of Yamaguchi’s mind that he hasn’t been able to shake for a while. Something brewing deep in his stomach and he’s been trying to curve it but it hasn’t settled. He’s itching for some liquor. And Yamaguchi only knows one place with the best alcohol and the best bartender in the world. The Transparent Owl.

The Transparent Owl is a huge establishment that is currently owned by Bokuto Koutarou which Yamaguchi is completely unaware of even though he visits frequently. The club doubles as a casual bar and a place for erotic entertainment. However, because Yamaguchi usually pre-games before going he has no idea which days are which. Even though Kenma has tried to explain to him more than a million times.

Sunday’s are a chill day, and Yamaguchi had already ordered a taxi to take him over. He cleaned up a little and got dressed pretty quickly. He was thankful he didn’t have to do anything today. He’s mainly been texting Ushijima whenever he has free time between studies and practice. What Yamaguchi would give to see Ushijima studying or even practicing. Does Ushijima wear glasses when he studies? Does he push himself so hard when he practices he sweats? 

Yamaguchi finds himself salivating.

Once the taxi arrives at the Transparent Owl Yamaguchi can already tell that his mature side is slipping away. Yamaguchi gets out and heads for the door, as usual, he’s stopped and carded. He can’t help the fact that he hasn’t really grown any taller since high school, but he isn’t dumb enough to try and go to the club while he’s underage-he’s a good kid. The guy eyes Yamaguchi steadily before letting him in and handing him his card back. 

It doesn’t matter how many times it happens Yamaguchi’s anxiety spikes. He’s seen too many videos of young kids getting arrested because of fake ID’s. His is 100 percent real, damn right it is, he had to wait like 4 hours to get it, it was absolute  _ hell. _

Yamaguchi takes a deep breath. The place is quiet, Yamaguchi appreciates it. There’s a smooth melody playing in the background that’s hardly noticeable, but it sets the mood immediately.

He walks to the bar, quickly settling himself onto a chair. Transparent Owl always has an amazing feel to it, like all are welcome. Kenma is mixing drinks at the end of the bar for a cute redhead that Yamaguchi has never seen before. The redhead is talking sporadically to Kenma as he’s making a drink, Kenma has a small smile on his face as he adds ice cubes to the cup and slides it over. After satiating the redhead with a conversation, Kenma made his way over to the other side of the bar to greet Yamaguchi. 

Kozume made a small gesture to him and began working on Yamaguchi’s signature drink. Yamaguchi stared into the glass as Kenma pours the grenadine over the ice. He watches as the orange rises and the red syrup settles at the bottom. 

“Tequila Sunrise.” Kenma whispers as he places an orange slice onto the glass.

“Thank you,” Yamaguchi responds taking a generous sip from the cup.

-

Several moments go by and Yamaguchi has had 3 Porn Stars and 4 Tequila Sunrises. His mind, by this point, is completely muddled and he’s not sure where he is. However, Kenma is there to remind him every now and then that he’s at the Transparent Owl. When Yamaguchi looks around he notices Kuroo-san walking over to him, not so much over to him but definitely over in his direction. 

“Yamaguchi-kun, it’s so good to see you.” Kuroo walked over to the bar where Yamaguchi is sitting and leaned against the counter. 

“Kuroo-sannnnnn~how are you? Do you come here often?” Yamaguchi said slurring slightly.

“Yeah, all the time considering, I work here,” Kuroo said with a smirk.

“You work here, how come I’ve never noticed!” Yamaguchi squeaked.

“Probably because you’re wasted by the time we get to communicate.” Kuroo snickered.

Yamaguchi pouted and hit Kuroo’s shoulder weakly. “Kozume get me another drink! And one for Kuroo!” 

“No, I’m cutting you off,” Kenma said quietly while cleaning a glass.

Kuroo looks up at the bartender quickly, realization flashed in his eyes. “Kozume...do you know, Tsukishima? Wait, how do you know Yamaguchi?”

“Kozume and I are roommates!” Yamaguchi squealed.

“Oh my god, you guys are roommates?” Kuroo says swiftly sitting down in the seat by Yamaguchi. “Does that mean you’re close to Tsukishima?” Kuroo asked looking at Kenma intently.

“I wouldn’t say we’re really close, but he’s my friend,” Kenma said quietly, a blush spreading on his cheeks.

“Tsukki, Kozume, and I spend a lot of weekends together playing video games and watching movies. Even before Tsukki transitioned! I think Kenma used to have a crush on him, but he would never admit it!” Yamaguchi said, resting his head in his hands.

Kuroo looked back at Kenma and Yamaguchi. “I did not have a crush on Tsukishima. I was scared of him.” Kenma admitted and then stormed off to help other customers. Yamaguchi pouted and protested the cat-like male’s return but he never came. Yamaguchi settled his head on the counter.

“Anything else you can tell me about Tsukishima Kei?” Kuroo prompted.

“Sure, Kei and I have been friends foreverrrr!” Yamaguchi slurs, sitting up in his chair.

“Kenma! Can I get some snacks??” Kenma sent Yamaguchi a glare as he helped another customer but gave him a head nod. 

Yamaguchi begun retelling stories of how many people have confessed to Tsukki in middle school and high school. Sometimes Tsukishima’s answers would differ depending on the guy or girl. Tsukishima usually said yes to some guys, and mainly when they were older than him, but the relationships didn’t really seem to last since Tsukishima was never able to be himself. Yamaguchi described a time where he thought Tsukki was in love until one night he came to Kenma’s and his dorm room crying. He never explained what happened and they never pushed him on the subject.

Yamaguchi can tell that Kuroo is listening intently, snacking on pretzels and peanuts that were served in small shallow wooden dishes. Yamaguchi is absentmindedly twirling a strand of hair between his fingers as he speaks to Kuroo. 

Tadashi continues to explain that Tsukishima and this guy were serious, always hanging out, always texting and just soaking up each other’s time.

“One time Kei was freaking out really bad because his grades were slipping and that had never happened before,” Yamaguchi explained.

“Yeah, that definitely sounds serious,” Kuroo responded sincerely.

The conversation continued for a bit, and Kenma slips Yamaguchi a couple more drinks now since he’s gotten something in his system. At this point in time, Yamaguchi can not think straight. Kuroo is trying to get more information out of him when a commotion starts near the doors and Kuroo rushed over to help out. Yamaguchi feels like he’s swaying. He’s sitting still in his seat but his mind is racing in a beautiful haze of thoughts. Flashes of fun times with his friends and his shared moments with Ushijima. Then, his thoughts settled on Ushijima alone. That’s when he realizes he hasn’t spoken to him for the few hours he’s been at the Transparent Owl. 

He became acutely aware of his phone pressed against his thigh in his pocket. It feels like it’s burning a hole into his skin and he removes it from his pocket quickly laying it down onto the counter. He watched as the notification light flickers on and off. He feels hot all over, but he can’t decipher if it's the alcohol or the swirling intimate thoughts between him and Ushijima. 

Yamaguchi remembered the way his hands felt against the skin of his cheeks and imagined how they would feel exploring every curve and turn of his body. Tadashi’s mouth goes dry as he snatched his phone up quickly into his hands. He sets off the chair and hurries to the bathroom, giving the room a quick look before disappearing behind the door. 

Yamaguchi finds an empty stall farthest from the door, as far as he can tell the bathroom is empty and he is grateful. Yamaguchi lifts his phone to his face and quickly searches up Ushijima’s name to call him. As the phone rings, Yamaguchi begins to breathe heavily.

“Yamaguchi?” Ushijima says voice rough with sleep.

“Ushijima,” Yamaguchi says breathlessly.

“Are you alright?” Ushijima asks after clearing his throat.

The deepness of Ushijima’s voice makes Yamaguchi’s toes curl, he can feel his erection growing in his pants. “Yes, I wanted to hear your voice.” He says truthfully. He doesn’t just want to hear him but he wants to feel him. His heat against his skin, and his body flush against his.

“Yamaguchi, have you been drinking tonight?” Ushijima says more clearly.

The brunette slowly moves a hand low against his crotch rubbing against his erection with his palm.

“I have,” he says almost inaudibly, “and that’s not all.” Yamaguchi chokes out. As his movement increasing slowly.

“Is that so?” Ushijima asks with genuine curiosity. He’s also slightly concerned by the breathlessness in Yamaguchi’s voice. “What else?” Ushijima asks.

“I’ve been thinking about you.” Yamaguchi slurs. The pliancy within Yamaguchi’s voice makes Ushijima stiffen almost immediately. He’s not sure what to say or do with Yamaguchi’s words, yet his uncertainty doesn’t render him speechless. He needs answers in order to understand what’s going on.

“About me? What about me?” Ushijima asks cool-toned. This sets Yamaguchi on edge, imaging the males’ previous intensity and how his words flow so beautifully with that thick, deep, voice of his. 

“Your words, your body...your muscles.” Yamaguchi chokes as he finally grabs himself through his pants. The choke is audible through the phone and Ushijima feels the noise travel to his groin, a stirring feeling inside of him that he is not entirely sure what to do with. He can feel his member twitch and stir under the confines of his boxer briefs. 

“Ushijima…” Yamaguchi whispers as he pumps his cock to the subtle beat thrumming against walls of the club. He can’t really hear the actual lyrics to the music as he focused on the static coming through the phone. It’s quiet on Ushijima’s side, but Yamaguchi is too foggy to care. Yamaguchi moans again as he squeezing the tip through his pants. Eagerly, the male slides his hand into his pants allowing a warm hand to run along with the throbbing erection. Yamaguchi’s breath escapes him in tight pants that leave Ushijima heavy-lidded. The chestnut-haired brunette isn’t sure what to say or do, so he finds himself saying Yamaguchi’s name.

“Yamaguchi,” The word is short and brief. But the word itself almost makes Yamaguchi scream with desire. Ushijima can hear the shakiness of his breath. The male is laying down against his back, an erection begging for release. Ushijima ignores the nagging sensation pooling into his abdomen. Focusing solely on the others breathing. 

Realization settles over Ushijima, the male closes his eyes slowly taking in a deep breath and then exhaling. Opening his eyes to a dark room.

“Yamaguchi, are you masturbating?” He asks with sudden confidence. 

The question startles Yamaguchi, and he holds his dick firmly in his hands, his movements stopped momentarily. “Uh, yes I am,” Yamaguchi says after a moment.

“With me on the phone?” Ushijima continues. 

“Yes,” Yamaguchi says before returning to his movements. “Are you okay with that?” He says through gritted teeth.

“I’m not sure.” That was the last thing Ushijima said for a while, as wild images flood within Yamaguchi’s mind. Ushijima is unbearably hard at the sounds of Yamaguchi’s pants and moans. He wants to relieve himself from the painful erection that is begging for his attention. But he wants to treat Yamaguchi with respect and the idea of masturbating to his lewd sounds makes me question what is and what isn’t respectful.

“Are you touching yourself to Ushijima?” Yamaguchi slurs.

“No,” he says.

“Do you want to?” Yamaguchi asks.

“Yes.” He answers honestly. He couldn’t lie at that moment, why would he want to. It was the truth. His hand was unmoving from the place on his bed.

“Am I turning you on, Ushijima?” Yamaguchi whispers breathlessly through the phone. Ushijima stiffens again as if his muscles could get any tighter. Wakatoshi takes a large breath in his lungs. That’s what he’s feeling all over, heat, the fire pulling in his stomach and the reason he can’t turn away from listening to Yamaguchi’s sounds, because it truly is turning him on. Yamaguchi Tadashi is turning him on. What does that say about him? He is definitely attracted to him, to his personality, and his radiance but now it seems to be on a sexual level. Ushijima doesn’t seem entirely uncomfortable with that, but he wants to know more.

Yamaguchi’s bottoms are hanging low on his thighs. He’s holding his length in his hands and stroking it at a constant pace. He can’t help but think about how Ushijima’s rough calloused hands would feel against his cock. He moans at the thought. At that moment, Ushijima rolls onto his side, slightly on his stomach as well. The idea of him touching himself to Yamaguchi still doesn’t settle with him, however, he can still rut his erection against his mattress to release a little pressure.

“Yamaguchi Tadashi, you’re crazy,” Ushijima whispers with a huff of breath. He continues to move his groin against his mattress, the tip rubbing roughly on his sheets. 

Yamaguchi moans at the use of his full name, he can feel his climax approaching. Yamaguchi holds his phone between his ear and shoulder. He brings his other hand to his mouth, lathering his fingers up with his saliva, coating them completely. The saliva building in his mouth creating loud wet noises that make Ushijima grunt. Yamaguchi reaches behind himself to slide his index finger against his entrance. As he slicks up his hole to put his finger in, he plays with the tip of his dick, the sensitivity making him bend forward slightly.

“Ushijima, I want you inside me.” He moans against the phone, slowly pushing his finger inside himself. Ushijima can’t help but moan at the words. Suddenly the idea flashes into his mind, and he turns over to wrap his hand around his erection stroking swiftly. 

“Yamaguchi-” Ushijima finds himself moaning, he imagines himself plunging his dick inside of the brunettes hole. The image can’t stop with how hazy his mind is with lust. His conscience is telling him that this isn’t respect towards someone he’s courting but he can’t stop himself from fucking into his own hand. 

“Ushi- I’m close.” Yamaguchi chokes out. He pushes his fingers further into himself, whilst stroking his dick roughly. His eyes are watering slightly as he moans loudly in the bathroom stall. The fact that no one has come into the bathroom is astonishing. But Yamaguchi isn’t able to focus on that for long as the feeling rises through him and he finds himself coming into his hand. His back arches and he presses his head back against the stall as he comes. Ushijima is right there with him, due to the lack of friction his dick had become so sensitive that he needed to come quickly. He had never had the stimulation of someone calling out his name in such an erotic matter it made his orgasm even better.

Yamaguchi stands against the stall for a moment before gathering himself. He reaches for some of the tissues and cleans himself up. He sits down on the toilet to catch his breath. After his orgasm, he feels a little more clear, but he’s definitely not sober.

“Yamaguchi.” Ushijima’s voice breaks the silence. He’s laying down with his eyes closed waiting for his breath to slow.

Realization settles in Yamaguchi’s flustered mind and he can’t figure out what to say.

“Oh my god...Ushijima, I’m so sorry. I-I’m drunk, and I know that’s not an excuse, but I was just thinking about you and I was drinking alcohol and I-”

“Yamaguchi, I’m not upset. I...just wasn’t prepared.” Ushijima hesitates and Yamaguchi’s notices. He’s never heard or seen Ushijima Wakatoshi hesitate in anything until tonight.

“You didn’t hate it?” Yamaguchi finds himself asking.

“Not at all.” He says rolling to reach some tissues on his nightstand. 

“Good,” Yamaguchi says.

The line is quiet for a moment. Yamaguchi isn’t sure what to do or say, but he knows he needs to go home. He pulls his phone away from his face to see the time. It’s so early in the morning Yamaguchi feels like groaning but he bites his lips.

“It’s late Yamaguchi, you should go home and get some sleep,” Ushijima says breaking the silence.

“You’re right.” Yamaguchi agrees. “Thank you for tonight-” He stops for a moment. “I mean, not for-” 

“Yamaguchi, we don’t have to talk about it. And we don’t have to pretend it didn’t happen, but we can talk when you’re sober.” Ushijima suggests.

“I should let you sleep,” Yamaguchi says as he nervously twirls a strand of hair in between his fingers.

“I would appreciate that, goodnight Yamaguchi Tadashi,” Ushijima says.

“Goodnight,” Yamaguchi whispers.

Luckily when Yamaguchi leaves the bathroom Kenma is already gathering his things and headed out. When Kozume looks Yamaguchi over, he notices that he’s not as flushed as before but he seems extremely nervous.

“Need a ride?” Kenma suggests and Yamaguchi nods tiredly. Kenma nudges his shoulder with Yamaguchi's and a small smile meet his lips.

  
  
  


  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment!!! Tell me what you think!!


	8. The Five Stages Of Grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Sarcasm, and Acceptance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bokuto continued to run his hand through Akaashi's hair. It calmed both of them. Akaashi took several deep breaths. His tears had stopped. His mind was still rolling and still processing but he knew what he wanted to say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At first, BokuAka and IwaOi were supposed to more minor pairing, but I lied to myself and you guys.

Finally, after several days, Akaashi’s head was clear enough to have a talk with Bokuto. It was a hard couple of days without his best friend. He and Bokuto grew very close over the course of a couple of months, they were kinda inseparable, Akaashi couldn’t stand being away from him because of his feelings. He tried to ignore the way his eyes would look at Bokuto lustfully, and the way his gaze lingered when he smiled. The utter joy that Bokuto brought to him from just simply being around him. 

Akaashi was appalled by the way he acted — the way he basically threw his entire friendship away just because of his lust and the way Bokuto’s compliments made him feel. He knew in his heart that Bokuto was just under the influence and that nothing he said was  _ possibly _ true. How could someone as handsome, as loving, as caring, or as successful love a complete fuck-up like Akaashi Keiji when not even foster parents wanted to adopt him?

Bokuto was the light of his existence. 

Akaashi started working right after high school, he struggled with money while in group homes, Takeda-sensei helped him apply for jobs, to get him set up, they stayed together for a period of time until Akaashi was able to maintain his own. And then he started working at Vintage Wanderlust, which he got through one of Takeda’s friends. Ittetsu never specified the relationship with this person, but he guaranteed him a job. That’s when he met Tsukki, and shortly after the rowdy bunch of boys that stopped by the store often.

-

_ Akaashi was stocking the shelves quietly, this was one of the rare moments when Tsukishima and he were working the same shift. Tsukki was avidly distracting himself by helping customers, avoiding the ticking clock on the wall that signaled his lunch.  _

_ The bell to the store rang, and Tsukishima visibly sighed before greeting the new customers.  _

_ “Welcome to Vintage Wanderlust,” Tsukishima said, and Akaashi attempted to call out after him. _

_ “Woahhhh, yo thanks.” A tall black and white-haired male said excitedly. Although the voice was loud, it was smooth like butter, and Akaashi’s attention was diverted for a moment before returning to work. _

_ “Bro, don’t be loud, it’s rude.” A tall raven-haired male said, he looked as if he had just gotten out of bed. Tsukishima rolled his eyes. He checked out another customer before walking over to the group of boys. _

_ “Is there anything I can help you find?” Tsukishima said in the best customer service voice he could manage. The salt and peppered haired male was about to speak up before the green-eyed man clapped a hand over his mouth. “We’re just looking around.” The stranger said pulling the other two out of Tsukishima’s sight.  _

_ Akaashi rolled the cart over to the corner of the store, inventory and shelving took a lot longer than he liked but it was necessary. The shelves were set up similar to that of a bookstore and he learned the system fairly quickly. He groaned under his breath when he realized that he wouldn’t be able to put one of the records on the shelf. It was supposed to be on the highest shelf and Akaashi felt defeated.  _

_ At first, he jumped measuring if he could reach it, then he just tried his tiptoes. He looked to Tsukishima for help, but he was helping a patron in the store. He attempted to stand as tall as he could before the record was lifted from his hand and slide into place. Akaashi wasn’t sure exactly what happened but it was clear someone helped. “Thank you for helping me,” Akaashi said as he looked up into piercing golden eyes.  _

_ For a moment, there was silence, nothing was said between the two males. They just stared. Neither of them knew how much time had passed before Akaashi broke contact. _

_ “Ah...right thank you for helping me-” _

_ The male held out his hand to offer a shake “-Bokuto Koutarou.” _

_ “Thank you for helping me Bokuto-san, let me know if I can assist you with anything,” Akaashi said with a short bow of his head, he reached for the cart and wheeled it away. _

_ “Wait, actually I do have a question!” Bokuto shouted for the entire store to hear. Akaashi nearly jumped out of his skin, and Bokuto apologized to both him and the people within the store.  _

_ “Your question, Bokuto-san?” Akaashi said to clear the awkwardness. _

_ “Right-do you have any records or CD’s of the Pussycat Dolls?” Bokuto said giving his full attention to Akaashi. He was smiling as he spoke, and Akaashi wasn’t able to tell if he was joking or not. ‘The Pussycat Dolls?” Akaashi thought, ‘This guy is weird.’ _

_ “Yes, we do, if you’ll follow me to our pop section,” Akaashi said motioning with his hand. _

_ Bokuto jumped excitedly and followed Akaashi. He couldn’t help but want to ask him more questions along the way. _

_ “How long have you been working here?” Bokuto asked. _

_ “A few months I believe, haven’t really kept track...” Akaashi answered. _

_ “Have you always lived in Miyagi?”  _

_ “No, for a bit I lived in Tokyo and a little in Okinawa.” _

_ “Oh, you’ve moved a bit, why?” _

_ “I was in the foster care system.” _

_ “What happened to your parents?” _

_ “Dead,” Akaashi said. Bokuto’s eyes widened and noticed that Akaashi had stopped. Bokuto assumed it was because of the conversation and Bokuto’s first instinct was to apologize. Akaashi automatically rejected the apology, telling him that it wasn’t necessary. Bokuto let it go. _

_ Akaashi moved on by directing him to wear the CD’s were. He looked over at Tsukishima who was talking to the tall raven-haired male that accompanied Bokuto-san. Tsukishima looked annoyed while the other asked him questions. Akaashi decided to depart from Bokuto, trying to leave their previous conversation behind him. _

_ “If you need anything else, please let me know,” Akaashi said before walking away. _

_ Akaashi returned to the cart, putting away records until it was empty. He pushed the cart into the back and headed over to the register. He quickly helped a customer with their purchase before Bokuto stepped up behind them. _

_ “Did you find what you were looking for Bokuto-san?” Akaashi asked scanning and placing his items into a bag. _

_ “Yes thank you.” Bokuto gave a small smile. “Hey, when do you get off?” He asked. _

_ “Seven, why?”  _

_ “Wanna get a drink or something?” Bokuto asked with a smile. _

_ Everything within Akaashi wanted to say no. He could have made an excuse as to why he couldn’t, he could have told him he wasn’t interested, or that they weren’t right for each other, but he said.  _

_ “Sure, I would love to.” Akaashi one-hundred percent blamed it on Bokuto’s smile.  _

-

Approaching Bokuto’s apartment Akaashi was on edge. He texted Bokuto a few times before leaving the house but he never received any confirmation about his visit. To Akaashi, it was as to be expected. The raven-haired male hadn’t talked to him in nearly a week, and now when Akaashi decided it was best, he’s going to visit Bokuto. 

Akaashi had mentally prepared his speech about a hundred times before coming over here. Going over key points like, admitting his feelings, expressing his guilt and highlighting his apology, and accepting the disbandment of their friendship. Anything Bokuto wanted, he would accept. 

As Akaashi stood in front of Bokuto’s door, he fiddled with the plastic bag of barbequed meat; he could hear the faint beat of a P!nk song playing through the apartment. For a brief movement, Akaashi found himself smiling, it was exactly like Bokuto listening to pop music mid-afternoon. Akaashi composed himself, sweat dripped down his neck. He knocked on the door three times then rang the doorbell. Akaashi could hear shuffling on the other side before the door swung open, startling Akaashi.

Just like the first time they met, they locked eyes, Akaashi took in Bokuto’s features. Dark circles, tired. Slumped shoulders, sad. Flat hair, unenthusiastic. Zero smile equaled zero emotion. And the realization hit that the entire time that Akaashi had been hurting, Bokuto had been hurting just as much. He wasn’t angry with him, he was hurt. Akaashi had done much more than take advantage of him, he’d broken him and that was worse than anything. 

The moment dragged on, the lyrics to the P!nk song that Akaashi guessed played into his ears at an alarming volume.

** _‘What about love? What about trust? What about us?’_ **

It took everything within Akaashi to hold back from sobbing. Bokuto opened the door wider and stepped aside to allow Akaashi to enter. Even after all Akaashi had done Bokuto was still able to let him in.

Akaashi toed off his shoes and hung up his coat. Bokuto walked further into the apartment to turn down the radio. Akaashi made his way over to the bar and set out the food he brought. 

Akaashi neatly pulled out boxes of food, opened up each container and pulled out napkins and utensils along with it. 

Bokuto gave a short laugh while coming up behind him. He slid into one of the seats and grabbed a pair of chopsticks. He reached for the food laid out in front of him. Akaashi sat across from him, quietly as he tucked himself into the table and began eating with him. It was silent and the silence was almost deafening as the clock on the wall ticked to mark the second. 

"How have you been?" Bokuto spoke up, slurping a piece of meat that disappeared into his mouth moments later. 

"Honestly, I haven't been well," Akaashi said setting down his chopsticks, "I can't imagine you've been well either."

Bokuto's shoulders lifted with a lifeless laugh, "No I'll have to say I've been pretty pissed." 

"You're angry?" Akaashi asked with a surprised tone. 

"YEAH, AKAASHI I’M FUCKING PISSED!" Bokuto shouted.

"I-whatever for-do you hate me for what I did?" Akaashi managed to choke up. 

Bokuto stood up from the table, "Do I hate you? What the  _ fuck _ -are you talking about? Look if you didn't want to hook up with me, and if you don't like me like that, that's fine! But ghosting me! Not answering my calls? Texts? And ignoring me at your job?" Bokuto's chest was heaving as he stood over Akaashi on the other side of the table. 

"Bokuto-you should hate me! I kept my distance because of the guilt because I took advantage of o-of you while you were drunk!" Akaashi practically screamed tears fell from his eyes. 

"AKAASHI WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" Bokuto shouted slamming a hand onto the table. "You didn't take advantage of me! Yes, I was under the influence, but everything I said was true, and everything that I did I want to do." Bokuto was shaking, but he's less angry now. Bokuto was still for a moment, his mind seemed to be rolling. 

Meanwhile, Akaashi was shaking, his very soul was confused and frightened. Tears were streaming down his face and he wasn’t making a sound. 

"How could you possibly want to do all those things with someone as ugly as me?" Akaashi asked, grabbing tightly onto his arms. He never intended to allow Bokuto to see his insecurities this way. His intention was to come here and have a discussion about what happened, Akaashi was going to open up to him, be completely honest about his life, and everything. He didn’t expect it to turn out like this. Bokuto sat down in his chair with a flop. 

"Akaashi Keiji, you're one of the most beautiful people I've ever met," Bokuto said, looking up at Akaashi. Keiji looked into those piercing gold eyes that captured his heart the first time he saw them. Tears blurred his vision, but he could see conviction written in Bokuto's gaze. At first, the words meant nothing to him, he had hurt Bokuto and there isn’t any way that he could possibly forgive him. But as he looked into Bokuto’s eyes, he felt his heart beat faster.

"I've been in love with you from the moment I met you," Bokuto admitted. A breath of air escaped his lungs, and he relaxed as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Like he has been wanting to tell Akaashi that and now that he had, everything is better. 

** _‘Sticks and stones, they may break these bones_ **

** _But then I'll be ready, are you ready?_ **

** _It's the start of us, waking up, come on_ **

** _Are you ready? I'll be ready_ **

** _I don't want control, I want to let go_ **

** _Are you ready? I'll be ready_ **

** _'Cause now it's time to let them know_ **

** _We are ready, what about us?’_ **

The song plays through Akaashi's ears, the meaning behind the lyrics reflects what he’s feeling, what Bokuto must be feeling.

"I'm not good enough for you." At this point, Akaashi was basically whispering as tears fell from his eyes. Bokuto stood, Akaashi didn't move. Bokuto walked over to Akaashi's chair and swooped the male into his arms bridal style. Bokuto walked to his bedroom, with Akaashi in his arms. He laid Akaashi onto the bed and moved to lay beside him. Bokuto pulled Akaashi into his chest, allowing him to lay his head there. Akaashi's shaky breaths seemed to subside. 

"You are good enough for me if anything I'm not good enough for you," Bokuto whispered while running his hand through Akaashi's hair. 

Keiji didn't pull away. And he wasn’t planning to. He was finally in the place he had always wanted to be, in the arms of someone that loves him. And Bokuto did. Bokuto actually loves him, and he thought that Akaashi was beautiful, and he thought he was good enough.

"Bokuto, you're perfect," Akaashi whispered against his chest. 

"Speak for yourself," Bokuto said through a smile. 

Bokuto continued to run his hand through Akaashi's hair. It calmed both of them. Akaashi took several deep breaths. His tears had stopped. His mind was still rolling and still processing but he knew what he wanted to say. 

** _What about us?_ **

** _What about us?_ **

** _What about us?_ **

** _What about us?_ **

** _What about us?_ **

** _What about us?_ **

"I love you Bokuto Koutarou." Akaashi breathed. 

"I love you too," Bokuto said tightening his grip on Akaashi. 

-oOo-

“Do you really think this is a good idea?” Yamaguchi asked while throwing on a crochet sweater. Kenma and Kei sit idly on his bed watching him get dressed.

“Yes,” Tsukishima and Kenma say simultaneously, neither of them looking up from their devices. Kenma gave a short laugh, and Tsukki smiled. 

“You guys should really talk about what happened,” Kenma said sporadically pushing buttons on his PSP. Kei nodded in agreement while typing a message out to Kuroo.

“Do you think he hates me?” Yamaguchi asked while slipping on a pair of skinny jeans. He walked over to his door mirror and gave himself a spin.

“No one could hate you in those jeans,” Tsukishima said looking up briefly.

“Agreed,” Kenma said a moment later.

“You guys are gay,” Yamaguchi said reaching for a pair of white air force ones from the closet.

“No, you,” Kei and Kozume said at the same time.

“Okay, seriously guys stop doing that!” Yamaguchi pleaded. Kei and Kozume looked at each other and shrug.

“It’s not like we’re doing it on purpose,” Kenma said with a shrug.

“Yeah, all great minds think alike,” Tsukki said.

The 3 of them fell into a fit of laughter a few moments later.

“What are you guys gonna do when I’m gone?” Yamaguchi asked, joining them on the bed.

“Make fun of you,” Tsukishima said with a blank expression. Kenma just looked up from his game to stare at Yamaguchi. Tadashi groaned and fell back on the bed.

“You guys are mean,” Yamaguchi said rubbing his eyes.

“We’ll probably play games, eat some food,” Kenma said turning off his system.

“Sounds good to me,” Kei said clicking the power button on his phone.

-

Yamaguchi is tapping his foot anxiously under the table. He reaches for his latte, using the warmth from the cup to warm his hands. He sits in the corner of a nearby coffee shop, watching the people on the street pass him by moving on with their day. The store is lit up with Christmas lights, it gives the establishment a bit of character. The place is semi-empty only a few people here or there. The sanded wood of the cafe brings the customers a warm homey feeling, Yamaguchi would normally be able to relax if he wasn’t about to meet up with Ushijima. He honestly shouldn’t be so nervous, but the last time they spoke was when Yamaguchi visited the Transparent Owl days prior. It was nearly the second week of August, and they had exchanged a few texts but Ushijima insisted that they discuss what happened in person. Which made Yamaguchi’s anxiety shoot up to the max, he should have requested they meet at a place that sold alcohol. 

The sound of the cafe doorbell knocked him out of his thoughts and when he looked up, he noticed Ushijima walking to the counter. Yamaguchi immediately straightened his posture. Tadashi eyed Ushijima from head to toe, the tight fit long sleeve purple shirt, accompanied by a brown belt and black pants. His chestnut hair laying perfectly against his head. When he looked into his eyes, Ushijima was staring back at him. Ushijima gave him a short wave, before taking his coffee and seating himself across from Tadashi.

“Good morning Yamaguchi,” Ushijima says as he slips into his seat. With one fluid movement, the chestnut-haired brunette sets his coffee down and pulled his phone out of his pocket to place it on the table.

“Good morning Ushijima,” Yamaguchi manages to say without dying of utter embarrassment. The events of the past Sunday flashed in his mind, and Ushijima just looked at him now without saying anything. He looks for some kind of tell on the male’s eyes, on his face, but he knows it won't be there.

“Look Ushijima I’m really sorry about calling you that night, I was drinking  _ a lot _ and Kozume tried to cut me off, and I just kept going-”

“-Who’s Kozume?” Ushijima interjects.

“He’s my roommate,” Yamaguchi says, Ushijima nods and takes a sip of his coffee.

“And I wasn’t thinking clearly, I mean of course you know what I was thinking about-but um, I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable with this new found-relationship that we have and I really hope I=you haven’t pushed me away.” Yamaguchi is fiddling with the cardboard slip around his cup, Ushijima looks at Yamaguchi’s hands before looking up at the brunette.

“Are you nervous?” Ushijima asks. This makes Yamaguchi jump but he nods in response.

“Why?” Ushijima asks.

“Because I don’t want you to think I’m gross, and that the only thing I want from you is...sex,” Yamaguchi’s tone drops towards the end of his sentence but Ushijima catches it, his eyes widen for a moment before returning to normal.

“Well, I don’t think that, and you didn’t make me uncomfortable,” Ushijima says looking upwards at the lights hanging in the cafe, Yamaguchi looks over at him with a hopeful expression. “I’m just not sure what my sexuality is. I’ve never really had time to focus on relationships or attractions-”

“-Because of volleyball, I know,” Yamaguchi says smiling.

“Right, and so, you’re one of the first people that I’ve felt drawn to. The events that happened that night didn't make me uncomfortable. I quite liked it. But I don’t know what that says about me, so I guess I'm confused.” Ushijima admits. Yamaguchi takes in this information with a few nods.

“Alright, I understand. Discovering your sexuality is something only you can do if you want to, but I would be happy to help in any way I can!” Yamaguchi says with a bright smile. He feels as if his previous nerves have been pushed away and he can finally relax into the comfort and quiet of Ushijima’s company. 

Ushijima nods at the offer. 

They fall into an easy conversation about why they met here at the coffee shop, how school and studies are going. Yamaguchi very enthusiastically asks about volleyball and Ushijima obliges him. 

“Oh, Yamaguchi?” Ushijima interjects.

“Yeah?”

“My birthday is on the 13th, I was wondering if you would spend it with me?” Ushijima asks looking into Yamaguchi’s eyes.

“I-you want to spend your birthday with me?” Yamaguchi asks.

“Well, my best friend Satori is hosting a party for me, I’ve told him about you and he would like to meet you. But yes, I would like to spend my birthday with you,” Ushijima explains.

Yamaguchi is stuck for a minute, he looks at Ushijima with surprise in his eyes, wondering if this is actually possible or actually happening.

“It is kinda a college party so they’re probably drinking,” Ushijima mentions.

“You can count me in!’ Yamaguchi squeaks. “And not just for the alcohol,” Yamaguchi sends Ushijima a wink.

-oOo-

Tsukishima is sitting at home with his head in a textbook, for some class, he doesn’t even need to take but decided on doing it anyway for the credits. He’s barely paying attention to the words at this point when his phone vibrates against his desk. 

[Kuroo Tetsurou:] Hey what are you up to? 

I feel like I haven’t talked to you in a bit. I hope the last time we hung up I didn’t like hurt your feelings or anything

Also, I’m texting for a reason.

I kinda wanna learn more about you, and about being transgender and such, and I was wondering if maybe you could teach me? Sound cool? If not then that's fine too

Tsukishima tried to hard not to look at his phone, he really didn’t want to be in this class so he had no motivation to study for it, but he gave in at the end and picked up his phone anyway to read his messages.

He was shocked for a moment, however, he felt warm. Just the idea that Kuroo might actually want to try and accept him, and learn more about him. Of course, he would never admit it. 

[Me:] What do you want to know?

Tsukishima sends back, he’s not sure what Kuroo is going to ask, but he’s open to education.

[Kuroo Tetsurou:] This is probably really stupid, but what bathroom do you use?

[Me:] Oh, interesting. If an establishment has a family bathroom or a unisex bathroom I choose those over anything, however, if my options are limited, I’m forced to use the women’s bathroom.

[Kuroo Tetsurou:] That doesn’t sound fun at all...for like your self-esteem…

[Me:] I try not to focus on it too much.

[Kuroo Tetsurou:] I really hope this isn’t rude, have you ever regretted transitioning?

[Me:] Considering you’re willing to learn, I will try not to take offense to anything you ask. And no, I haven’t but some people do.

[Kuroo Tetsurou:] Okay cool, I really am curious, and want to know more. How does someone know that they are transgender?

[Me:] People discover themselves in different ways. But usually, its connected to childhood memories, of “not fitting in” or not feeling right in what we were called or named. Some people can experience intense dissatisfaction with their assigned sex, I was one of those people. I didn’t relate to my sex, or what other people who are female, were like.

[Kuroo Tetsurou:] Wow, that’s extremely intense, I’m sorry you had to go through that, did you have a support system?

[Me:] My parents...understand, but I can’t say they accept. However, my brother and Tadashi were very supportive. Also Kozume had been there for me as well. 

[Kuroo Tetsurou:] OHHHHHH!! You remember when I said Kozume sounded familiar? We literally work at the same place that Bo owns! He’s an epic bartender!!

Oh, it’s awesome you have some support, sucks about your folks though

[Me:] I didn’t know you worked at the Transparent Owl, let alone did I know Bokuto-san owned the place. At such a young age?

[Kuroo Tetsurou:] The previous owner gave it to him!

Anyway, more quesions?

[Me:] Sure. Go ahead.

[Kuroo Tetsurou:] Are you going to be...reassigned? I think it is the term…

[Me:] Basically asking if I'm gonna switch my sex organs? I haven’t decided. It’s a very risky surgery. Does that make you think of me differently?

Tsukishima normally wouldn’t have asked, but he found himself drawn to Kuroo, making a new friend, or something better. He didn’t want his identity to get in the way of that.

[Kuroo Tetsurou:] WHATTTT??? NO NOT AT ALL! I’m telling you, I’m here to learn, and I want to be able to understand so I don’t say something stupid on accident and hurt you. I care about you Tsukki!! I want you to trust me!! 

[Kuroo Tetsurou:] I know there’s a lot of stuff in the news, but what kind of discrimination do transgenders face? Is it worse than people hating gays?

Tsukishima took a deep breath, knowing that this was going to be a lot of information that he didn’t want to deal with, but Kuroo was waiting and willing to learn, and Tsukishima was not going to let another ignorant person wander the streets. 

[Me:] Within the Anti-Discrimination Act in the U.S. and Japan, none of them really protect transgenders or gender-non conforming people. Transgender people are discriminated against when looking for housing, work, health care, and even education. Many transgender people are victims of hate crimes, similar to that of gays, from verbal abuse on the streets to killings. 

Tsukishima sighed, trying to relax his body was too tense from the topic, and he felt panic rise in his chest.

[Me:] Do you mind if we stop talking about it for a while? 

[Kuroo Tetsurou:] Of course, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I should have completely considered how these questions could make you feel. Really Tsukishima I’m sorry.

[Me:] No, actually you being curious and asking me questions made me feel validated. 

[Me:] Look, I’m a little unsettled right now, don’t get excited but would you mind coming over right now? We could just hang out, I feel uncomfortable being alone.

Tsukishima hated himself for feeling so vulnerable, but Kuroo made him feel safe, he knew it. And he couldn’t fight it. Kuroo made him feel normal, not like he was constantly battling with himself. In all honesty, Kuroo felt like home.

  
  


-oOo-

“Did you know Ushijima’s birthday is today?” Oikawa asks his head in Iwaizumi’s lap. 

“Oh is it?” Iwaizumi asks, pretending not to know.

“Yes, and Ushiwaka, hasn’t sent us an invitation, I invited him to my birthday,” 

“Yep, that you did,” Iwaizumi responds blandly, running his fingers through Oikawa’s hair.

“So, why haven’t we been invited to his, Iwa-chan!!” Oikawa nearly shouts, and Iwaizumi gives him a slap on the head. 

“Maybe he just wants a small get together, or he realized how annoying you are Shittykawa.” Iwaizumi says giving Tooru a glare.

“You’re mean,” Oikawa pouts.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are appreciated!! And recommended!!


	9. Hey, Guys, I'm Really Trying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Ushijima's Birthday
> 
> YAMAGUCHI GAY PANIC
> 
> Or
> 
> “Whatever you want, I have some movies on the TV as well as board games…” Ushijima suggested with a gentle shrug, his shoulders rippling with the movement. There was a temptation in Ushijima’s eyes, it was clearly read within Yamaguchi's anxiety-riddled gaze. 
> 
> “Do you have Monopoly?” Yamaguchi asked, a mixture of curiosity and excitement danced with his expression.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been working on updating my chapter fic, here's another chapter for those of you who are still following the story!

It wasn’t as if Yamaguchi had never been to a party before. It was very well known in fact that Yamaguchi had attended many parties, and could be considered a party animal. If you asked him, Yamaguchi would neither confirm nor deny the accusation; probably brushing it off, by saying he doesn’t drink  _ tha _ t much. Which was, as it were, a lie. Yamaguchi Tadashi does in fact have a bit of a drinking problem, but every time he knew he had a class the next morning after a night of  _ fun _ he set the proper alarms, and pulled himself out of bed and into the classroom. Yamaguchi also wasn’t failing any of his classes. Yeah, study sessions with the overachiever Tsukishima Kei would land him some pretty solid grades. Not that that’s all Tsukki was used for. Yamaguchi considered their friendship very close to his heart. So close, that if there was ever a potential loss to Tsukki he wouldn’t know what to do with himself. Like the night of the surgery. Yamaguchi tried to shake all of those thoughts from his mind as he approached Ushijima’s dorm room. Ushijima tried to beg and plead with Yamaguchi to allow him the honor of escorting him...to his own party, but Yamaguchi refused. For good reason, because his nerves were off the charts. Tadashi’s hands were shaky, he could feel the tremble all down his back, an insatiable chill that he wouldn’t be able to shake any time soon. Unless he got alcohol in his system, then warmth would surge through his bloodstream and ignite his skin. Well, now that he thought about it. That might be painful, and the last time he got drunk. He drunk-dialed his very long-lasting crush and sexted him over the phone. Fun times. He hoped. Yamaguchi hoped for a lot of things. For the invisible line that was keeping him from knocking on the door would disappear. Hoping that all of this sudden anxiety would fly out the window and Yamaguchi can have a calm cool evening with some college peeps. The very idea makes him shiver. What if this was potentially something similar to a wine tasting? Classical music in the background, the herd of people gathered around beautiful and altruistic works of art, and during the entire night, Yamaguchi would have to pretend to know something about art. Classic Art. Leonardo Da Vinci.

Of course, Yamaguchi was just overthinking everything. As usual. Since he's been standing outside the door to Ushijima’s dorm room, the sound of club music was pumping loudly. Through the blinds in the windows, Yamaguchi could see lights flashing, and suddenly he wasn’t worried so much about making a fool of himself but more like having a seizure from the flashing light exposure. In hindsight, all of that was his anxiety talking. When has Yamaguchi ever had anxiety? That was a stupid question because the answer was forever. There wasn’t ever a moment in Yamaguchi’s life where he didn’t rethink a decision, or possibly regret a decision he has already made, worried that someone could get hurt by his choices. This may include, but not limited to eating an egg salad sandwich for lunch. Which was Yamaguchi’s go-to food when he was hungover, and when he was sober as the day he was born, he will swear on his grandfather’s grave that egg salad sandwiches are the devil’s spawn. Yamaguchi’s thoughts were cut short as the door to Ushijima’s dorm room was swung open, and two people who were  _ vigorously  _ making out, and seemingly trying to take each other’s clothes off, stumbled through the doorway. Yamaguchi stepped aside, further into the hallway, and directly in Ushijima’s vision. He was smiling, a sight that was rare for Yamaguchi to see, and with that smile was the large approaching man with it. 

“Hey, have you been here long?” Ushijima asked for a red solo cup in his head, his smile fading as he waited for Yamaguchi’s response.

“Nope, just got here,” Yamaguchi lies, how was he supposed to tell Ushijima that he was standing out here for what felt like an hour but was probably closer to ten minutes.

“Can I get you a beer?” Ushijima offers, turning on his heel and walking back inside the dorm.

“Sure,” Yamaguchi says after following him. The walk to the keg is short, and in the midst of it, someone has slammed the door shut. Turned up the music, and threw their shirt into the sink but Yamaguchi isn’t really paying any attention to any of that. Only really watching that way Ushijima’s muscles ripple easily under the cloth of his shirt. And  _ his shirt _ . He’s wearing a sleeveless light blue under armor tee. His arms are big and wide beside his chest and Yamaguchi’s eyes wander over to the way, his biceps shift and move under his skin when he reaches for a cup. Ushijima is unusually skilled with a keg, almost as skilled as Kenma with a tap. His brain doesn’t make that connection lightly. A part of him is wishing that he invited Kenma to the party with him. He would have been a lot less anxious upon arrival and probably would have been able to face his demons a lot easier. Yamaguchi is strangely out of his element. Usually, parties are where he feels most comfortable, where he feels the freest, but something about the atmosphere is bothering him, but that’s most likely just his imagination. Ushijima hands him the beer, and Yamaguchi takes the cup with a gentle smile. 

“Let’s go sit on the couch,” Ushijima suggests, lifting his cup upward in the direction of the sofa sitting in front of a very large television. Yamaguchi refuses to comment on it, and simply follows him over, sitting beside him and crossing a leg over his knee. 

“So this is your dorm?” Yamaguchi asks, in an attempt to make conversation. Briefly, after he takes a sip of the beer, it’s not bad. It tastes fresh and strong. Something that Yamaguchi will definitely have to drink slowly tonight if he doesn’t want to do something stupid. Every other time he was drunk, Ushijima was not only involved but he was a victim of his stupidity. First, Oikawa’s birthday party, where he blurted out his almost 5-year old crush to him while intoxicated, which somehow prompts a make out in Oikawa Tooru’s bedroom. Then at the transparent Owl when Kenma was serving Yamaguchi’s Tequila Sunrises or something and he decided to jack-off in the club bathroom. Were any of those good choices? Definitely not. Did it somehow land him closer to Ushijima, and no farther? Yes. How? Only God knows, and he’s not gonna snitch. 

“Yeah, it’s a nice place I guess,” Ushijima says rather absentmindedly. But Yamaguchi pulls him back with his voice.

“Ushijima,” Yamaguchi prompts when Wakatoshi looks in his direction Yamaguchi smiles. “Happy Birthday.”

The comment brings a soft sort of expression to Ushijima features and he mumbles a word of thanks before getting up from the couch and turning down the music. Yamaguchi had noticed in the short time that the two of them had been sitting here, that the number of people in the room had diminished. There were 3 or 4 people in the kitchen, playing cards and holding beers, and then there were Ushijima and Yamaguchi on the couch. Now that the music was lowered to a dull rumble, Ushijima returned to the couch to sit beside Yamaguchi. 

“There aren’t a lot of people here,” Yamaguchi mentions, looking into the contents of his cup. 

“It’s sort of an open party, people are allowed to come and go as they please,” Ushijima explains briefly. “I truly wanted to spend my birthday alone with you, but Satori insisted on a party.”

“Who is-”

“Was I summoned?” A voice from behind Yamaguchi croaks, and the poor brunette jumps slightly before turning around. He’s face to face with a man with fiery red hair, and an excited expression that Yamaguchi can’t place. A silence comes over the room, for a minute as Tendou drapes himself over the arm of the sofa. 

“Uh hi,” Yamaguchi blurts, unable to really say or do anything at this individual's sudden appearance.

“Yamaguchi Tadashi, this is Tendou Satori, Satori this is Yamaguchi,” Ushijima gives an introduction after straightening himself on the couch. 

“It’s nice to meet you...I believe again but we weren’t properly introduced the first time. When Karasuno beat Shiratorizawa.” Yamaguchi says gently with a smile. Suddenly remembering the insufferable taunting of the red-headed player. 

“Oh, you remember that! How excellent! Well, that’s fun. But I gotta run, take care of my ‘Toshi while I'm gone! Bye-bye now!” Tendou says very happily before skipping toward the door. Yamaguchi shivers after the exchange is over, honestly unable to grasp what just happened, he turns back toward Ushijima to try and forget the event. However, that uncomfortable atmosphere that Yamaguchi felt before suddenly diminished when Tendou left the dorm room. Yamaguchi felt a lot calmer now, safer if he dared implied he was ever in any danger. Ushijima seemed to notice him relax because the other relaxed as well, as he pressed his head into the back of the couch. 

“I don’t drink much, I prefer not to. But Satori has some weird power over me where he makes me do things I wouldn’t normally do. So please excuse me, if I’m not a proper host.” Ushijima says, his eyes shut. “I am very glad you’re here and happy that you accepted my invitation.”

“How could I not? You looked at me with brooding eyes and swayed me with your magic.” Yamaguchi argues. 

“Yamaguchi, I’m not a magician. I think you over-exaggerate in that brain of yours.” 

“You don’t want to know what goes on in  _ my _ brain.”

“Sooner or later, I’ll find out,” Ushijima concludes, turning his head to face Yamaguchi. Yamaguchi ponders this statement looking over Ushijima’s expression with curious eyes. He's unable to find anything in the empty expression that Ushijima always holds. The expression he gives when he’s uncertain, or maybe too certain about something he’s thinking. Or at least that’s what Yamaguchi thinks Ushijima is thinking or pondering. He didn’t want to think about Ushijima’s statement anymore. The sentence held an unknown subtext that Yamaguchi was unable to read into. The tables have turned for them, Ushijima was usually the one that was clear-headed, not clouded by alcoholic decisions. Of course, any insane person would use this opportunity to try and learn Ushijima’s deepest and darkest secrets. However, whatever impression Yamaguchi gave anyone, he wasn’t interested in learning about Ushijima in a dishonest way, he wanted things to be open and fluid between the two of them. Yamaguchi ran a thin creamy hand through the thickness of his long brown hair, sighing as he did so.

“So, what do you wanna do?” Yamaguchi prompted, sharing a gaze with Ushijima, which he regretted. The moment he allowed his eyes to settle onto the deep traps that were the honey brown irises that speckled in the reflection of the dancing light. Yamaguchi hesitated before lifting his hand into his own vision and tracing the hard line of Ushijima’s forehead. The gesture was tender, almost too tender for Yamaguchi’s heart to bear. And Ushijima’s eyes fluttered at the gesture, seemingly unbothered by the touch. However, curious about the way his fingertips danced around the edges of his face. 

“Whatever you want, I have some movies on the TV as well as board games…” Ushijima suggested with a gentle shrug, his shoulders rippling with the movement. There was a temptation in Ushijima’s eyes, it was clearly read within Yamaguchi's anxiety-riddled gaze. 

“Do you have Monopoly?” Yamaguchi asked, a mixture of curiosity and excitement danced with his expression. He watched with skillful eyes as Ushijima lifted himself off the couch, and moved to a bookshelf. On this small bookshelf tucked into the corner of the dorm room, where boxes stacked on top of each other, Ushijima lazily shifted them before pulling a long rectangular box out of the jumble. He made his way back over to the couch, sitting down beside Yamaguchi lifting the box toward him. 

“If I keep asking about what games you have, would you just keep getting up and get them?” Yamaguchi asked with a bit of amusement in his voice. 

“Probably,” Ushijima said shortly, dropping the box in between the both of them. 

“You’re very...loose,” Yamaguchi observed

“Alcohol.” Ushijima offered plainly. “Is being loose a bad thing?” Ushijima asked, his eyes falling back on Yamaguchi. 

“No, you’ve experienced firsthand what alcohol does to  _ me, _ ” Yamaguchi mentioned, he watched Ushijima as he said it. Watched as something dark flashed in Ushijima’s eyes before falling back to the gentle, light brown. 

“Yes, I have,” Ushijima stated. His eyes search Yamaguchi’s for a brief moment, before they drop to the box, in between them. “Are we gonna play a round?” Ushijima asked. 

Yamaguchi smiled brightly. “Yes, but I’ll need another drink first.”

“Coming right up,” Ushijima said with a smile, grabbing the box on his way off the couch and moving to the kitchen. Yamaguchi followed behind him.

“I will have to let you know Yamaguchi, no one has ever beaten me in a game of monopoly,” Ushijima explains with a soft voice, as he pours beer from a keg into a cup for Yamaguchi.

“Well then, prepared to get whooped!” Yamaguchi exclaims, snatching the cup from Ushijima and taking the bitter liquid down his throat. Ushijima shifts to step in front of him. He’s so close that Yamaguchi can feel the heat coming off his body. Yamaguchi lowers his cup from his mouth, when his mouth is uncovered, his lips are slightly parted and a little wet. Yamaguchi can feel Ushijima’s gaze on them for a moment before they shoot up to his eyes.

“You think you can beat me, Yamaguchi?” Ushijima’s voice is like velvet across his skin, and he can’t help but think about how criminal it is that he can be this hot while under the influence. A calm drunk, Yamaguchi thinks. A feat he will never acquire himself. 

“I have confidence in my dice rolling skills, Ushijima-Ku-Ushijima, don’t count me out,” Yamaguchi says taking a short tentative step away from Ushijima, and when Ushijima doesn’t follow he relaxes. 

“I never have before,” Ushijima says, and Yamaguchi’s eyes shoot to Ushijima where he meets his dark gaze. He remembers their conversation, about Yamaguchi’s potential. Even now, with Yamaguchi stuttering and stumbling his way through the night. Even after embarrassing himself by drunk calling Ushijima, there’s no judgment in his eyes. There’s something else, a feeling in Ushijima’s eyes that Yamaguchi’s trying to get a read on. Is it...envy? Admiration? He couldn’t tell, and before he could pinpoint it, Ushijima was looking away, standing up straight and running a hand through his chestnut hair. Yamaguchi had never really seen him do that before. “Anyway, should we start?”

Yamaguchi had never seen this on him before. Looking away, nervous tick on his hands in his hair, and invasive to a situation. He’s avoiding something, there was a feeling, a thought in Ushijima’s eyes and Yamaguchi wanted to know, wholly and completely what it was. He would have been more determined to find out if he wasn’t under the influence. 

“Sure, if you’re ready to claim bankruptcy.” Yamaguchi chides. Ushijima’s smile forms halfway on his lips before he’s pushing Yamaguchi away from the keg by the shoulder toward the table.

Ushijima sets up the board like it’s his job. He slides the banker's money to his side before Yamaguchi slides it over to his. Ushijima raises an eyebrow at him and Yamaguchi just smiles sweetly. “I feel like if I deposit any money into the bank it will be stolen with you working there,” Ushijima says sharing his thoughts, and Yamaguchi just makes a short huffing sound crossing his arms over his chest. 

“I’m a good banker!” Yamaguchi protests and a chuckle comes from Ushijima’s throat. Yamaguchi is getting more and more used to soft, loose Ushijima, even if he’s a little more intimidating then normal Ushijima. However, he’s still not used to hearing him laugh so frequently. That’s the most nerve-wracking part of all of this. Ushijima’s laugh is so deep, and it rumbles off the walls because of the deep octave of his voice.

“I’ll believe you for now,” Ushijima says, picking his piece, he pulls out the wheel barrel, and Yamaguchi picks the dog. They set their places on GO!, and when Yamaguchi’s hand brushes Ushijima’s accidentally he feels himself pull away but his hand is cradled in Ushijima, the male leans over the table, pulling Yamaguchi’s hand closed to his mouth before pressing a soft kiss to the back of it before giving it back to him. Yamaguchi’s face went red but he didn’t say anything. Ushijima held a soft smile handing Yamaguchi the dice, to decide who needs to go first. 

“Are we doing auctions in the first round?” Yamaguchi asks when he’s shaking the dice in his hand.

“With just the two of us? Do you want to?” Ushijima asks with real curiosity. 

“Was just curious, sometimes I do it, sometimes I don’t,” Yamaguchi says, throwing the dice onto the board, he rolled an eight, and Ushijima swept up the dice and rolled for his turn. When he got a six, Yamaguchi smiled wickedly. “I guess I’m going first.” He said with mock sass and took the dice from Ushijima’s hands. He tried not to think about the searing warmth from the palm of his hands as he pulled away. Ushijima just leaned back in his chair and let Yamaguchi roll. He rolled an eleven and moved his dog piece to the property. Ushijima sat up lazily, grabbing the pieces and rolled.

The first round until they made it to GO! again, it went just like that. Lazy movements, and soft smiles. Small giggles from Yamaguchi, because he was always giggling when he was drunk. He felt safe with Ushijima, so the people that he drank in the past were sketchy, but Ushijima drove him home the last time he got drunk, and he would probably do it again.

Or, he might stay here, in Ushijima  _ *dorm* _ room. Maybe with Ushijima...in his head. 

The sound of dice hitting the board knocked him out of his thoughts, and he watched as his piece moved all the way to Kentucky avenue. Yamaguchi scoffed and Ushijima started pulling out the money for the property, he took the money, putting it in the bank, and handed him his property. Ushijima gave him a polite thank you, and Yamaguchi hissed from his teeth, Ushijima couldn’t help but laugh softly. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment your loving UshiYama thoughts


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